Diggin' for Fool's Gold
Ladies, are you a gold digga?
Raise your hand please; I need to take a count.
Are your best girlfriends gold diggas? Do you know many gold diggas? And if so, how do they pick marks? Where do gold diggas hang out? What kind of men are they (you?) interested in meeting/dating/marrying?
I keep hearing about gold diggas (GDs) from all kinds of men - white (WM), black (BM), latino (LM); not so much from asian men (AM). AM, if you want to chime in on the subject, please do. I'm guessing the feedback won't be much different. And yet, somehow, I missed this great upheaval - this shift change in women and the way we interact with men. Apparently, the way the pick up goes these days is something like this:
"Hi I'm Mike. How you doin' tonite?"
"My name is Jenny. I want another drink and if you don't buy it for me, as well as pay for all of my hair and nail appointments, my rent, my car payments, all of my clothes and take me to eat every night at some place other than Carl's Jr., then you can step to the side and let the next sucker up to bat. You have a snow ball's chance in hell of getting any of this coochie... Oh, and what kind of car do you drive?"
"Uh, was that a cosmo you were having?"
Okay, so maybe it's not quite that clear cut, but dudes come on! I think we all know that most GDs are easily identifiable by the "Super GD" tattooed on their forehead, not to mention their perfectly manicured nails, impeccable hairstyle, even golden copper tan, super shiny ride (you know how much car washes cost these days? At least $15 a pop plus tip!) and revealing clothing. Oh, these women are a wonder - and quite rare, which is why I'm wondering how so many regular guys are coming across them. Has Hyde lowered it's admission policy? Does every man think he's Donald Trump (lurd help us if any man besides Donald Trump, actually thinks he's The Donald)?
So who are men referring to? Who is this creature who is out for his money -- the little bit of money they have? Perhaps that's why these men are hypersensitive to women politely inquiring as to their earning ability, spending habits and discretionary funds. I say, the men who worry about women getting into their pockets usually don't have anything in them in the first place. All the more reason to be concerned someone will find out those credit cards are maxed out. Last time I checked, money was the great equalizer. A man might not have the best looks, be over 6', have the body of an Adonis, or be the greatest lover -- but he's got da benjamins! A woman will over look many things to ensure her offspring are well cared for. And how does a man do that? He does it by having money! It's like being one of the biggest, baddest hunters on the plains. He can bring home the bacon...
I think we've got some confusion in the room. Women, after dating a man for a few minutes, will begin to assess his net worth. This is relevant information and a long term frame of mind. She needs to know if he's a loser or winner. She's not trying to get you to write a check; she's trying to decide if she should let you get her down the aisle or at least stay on her dance card for the foreseeable future. She is not trying to take your two Franklin Mint dollars or autographed Air Jordans. For goodness sake, she might have more than you know she does. She might have stocks. She probably buys her own jewelry. She might even have a decent 401k. This woman will sign a prenup. She will have things she should protect, as do you and she will understand. What she won't do is put up with a man who is stingy with his money, for she knows that a man who is stingy with his funds is also stingy with his emotions. And she's an ED, an emotional digga; and she's worth it. Don't be fooled by the shiny things.
Now tell me, would the world cave in if, every once in a while, a man sprang for a $35 combination french tip mani/pedi, including tip?
I didn't think so.