It's Ndel's World; You're Just Reading It

Preach On Brotha!

2011-12-06T20:24:00.000-08:00

The World As We Know It Has Come to an End!!!!

2011-11-27T08:51:00.001-08:00

How I'm Feeling Right Now...

2011-11-09T20:18:00.000-08:00

Man, satellite radio can really bring back the memories. Haven't heard this one in years but it fits exactly how I feel at the moment.

Remember This One?

2011-11-09T19:58:00.000-08:00

Summer is Coming to An End, but...

2011-08-20T15:09:00.000-07:00

Yesteryear Jam

2011-07-31T14:26:00.000-07:00

It's wonderful.....

Come On Get Happy

2011-07-26T19:47:00.000-07:00

Oh my Dear Ones, it has been a while, hasn't it? So much has happened and I can't figure out if I want to put it all in one long post or several short ones. The basic theme of all of it is happiness. Happy to bed, happy to rise, happy to be. First of all, I have my health. Always good. Check. Next, I have a job. Check. Roof over my head. Check Check. A healthy, happy son. Triple check. I don't have to take the Metro. Oh my goodness, that's a check with a double snap (back handed)! I had it all. At least that's what everybody thought - well, me too. What more to ask for, except money? A man?

Well, how about a little travel with the Gurls?

We hit up Cabo for four days. Yup, we terrorized the town. It'll never be the same. And be sure you think twice before eating that popcorn at Squid Roe -- you never know whose nose it's been up!

Yup, we went in early May and the place will never be the same again. If you ever hear a song called, "Crying in the Streets of Cabo", know that our trip inspired it!!!

I got back and promptly got sick. And. And. And. Met a man! Shut yo' mouth, you say. No way! Yes, way, I say. And we've been very happy ever since. See!

We've been having quite the ball - when we're able to be together. See, he lives in South Dakota. Yeah, you heard me right -- South Dakota. That part sucks - but everything else, and I mean everything else is fantastic. I've no idea what the future holds, but it looks bright. I might have to wear shades.

And Cammy graduated! From kindergarten...

Yeah, in the longest pre-7th grade graduation ceremony ever! For under 100 kids! In the sun! 50 of them under 5! As you can see, Cam dispensed with the formalities quite fast:

Let's hope his rebellion is the mark of a free and interesting spirit, not a spoiled brat!

In short, it's summer. I'm posting again and...

Whatever Happened to?????

2011-05-15T17:25:00.000-07:00

2011 is Here. Yipee.

2011-02-08T20:20:00.000-08:00

I think.

There is, I suspect, a general problem with blogging while drunk ("BWD"), but in this case, since I am also trying to fight off some nasty cough-fever-hacking thing my kid has, I think I'll forgive myself. I've been in the house now for three days and I'm kind of sick of it. Mind you - just kind of, cause really, I like being home with my kid, my cats and my dog. My sick mom, not so much. I told my sister that she needs to go a convalescent home (cue scary music) and my sister told my mom. I don't care much, even though mom isn't so keen on the idea. I probably wouldn't be either, but I'd understand. I guess that is the practical in me - whatever's going to work is fine with me.

Since I've realized that I'm really mad at my mother for not taking care of herself and being so in her own world, I've started to forgive myself for being mad in the first place. I know that parents get old and that children get resentful (going through that now myself). My mom is a special case (I know, everyone says that), but she really is - she's the most manipulative person I've ever met. I've seen more manipulative people, but that's generally been in episodes of Masterpiece Theatre. She truly is in a class by herself and a force of nature. Which is why it is so difficult to tell her to let go. To let go of me and Cam, to go to her pasture. She doesn't want to go, but she does. So, we exist in limbo, without a way out.

So, I've caught up on a few things - well, actually, a lot of things having to do with the medium of television. For instance, I got with it and hooked up my Blu Ray DVD player and Wii to Netflix. I've seen more foreign flicks in the past month than I have in the last 15 years. I even watched the reboot of Battlestar Glactica, which was quite enjoyable - if a little uneven.

I even discovered a new handsome man - Jamie Bamber. Enjoy.

Apparently, he's on Law and Order UK, only the BBC US which I recently got rid of (after Luther). I might have to rethink that one.

CAMERON has now requested to help write the post and he wants to see his name, hence, CAMERON in caps. He's sick and coughing. Probably going to get me sick.

Well, the Jack is staring to do it's job -- and then the Nyquil is up (please do your job).

Can I just say - don't let Southland languish. It really is one of the best shows on TV today. Tune in for the great writing and performances. Regina King and Michael Cudlitz are amazing. Trust me.

Whatever Happened To?

2010-12-29T20:06:00.000-08:00

Trip of the Year - the Eastern Caribbean

2010-12-05T10:32:00.000-08:00

The Silent Lady on St. Thomas - LOADS of fun & rum!

View of St. Thomas from the Silent Lady

Carvings in brick in San Juan

Orient Beach on the French side of St. Maarten (the nude beach is just to the right)

Full boat - of good times!

Honeymooner's Beach on St. Thomas

Good friends made on the cruise - we've christened ourselves the "Solsticers" after our ship. Next year?

Yesteryear Cut of the Day

2010-12-05T10:14:00.000-08:00

It's Grown on Me

2010-11-13T18:18:00.000-08:00

THE PRINCESS AND THE FROG: Ma Belle Evangeline. Watch more top selected videos about: Anika Noni Rose, Bruno Campos

Apathy Be Not My Name

2010-10-29T08:25:00.000-07:00

Getting Slammed Can Be A Good Thing, Right?

2010-10-25T08:12:00.001-07:00

If you haven't heard, it's been raining in Southern California. For a long time. Everyday. Ceaseless and endless. Okay, that last part isn't true, but for a region used to languid, dry, sunny days, these last few days have been alien. It really shouldn't matter, because the rain cleans our gutters and our minds - it's not like we don't need it.

So this weekend, when I should have been out prowling the local Targets for Cam's Halloween costume, I was in the house, nursing his cough, generally relaxing, catching up on the DVR'd shows and watching How to Train Your Dragon (if you haven't seen it; see it). I happened to be channel surfing when I came across something I had seen the previews for and secretly decided to watch, Brave New Voices 2010 on HBO.

I cried for the entire hour. I was so enthralled, enchanted, surprised, wowed and well, ridiculously impressed by the talent of these young people that I vowed right then and then that Cam had better grow up appreciating ART. He had better know genius when he sees or hears or reads it. He had better feel something about this world and his place in it.

Of course, there aren't any clips of the performances from the broadcast itself, but I did find the trailer as well as some clips of earlier in the competition of pieces I liked. Of course, this being the AGE of the INTERNETS, I went online and found at least one review of the show (I don't think most white critics can honestly critique slam - it's like a foreign language to them - the poets are speaking Shange and the critic is still aching for Frost). But for me, there were only two or three pieces that I thought were just good. The rest? Oh, the rest were amazing. They were brilliant. They were bad.

Preview

I just got my hair cut and was thinking about getting my eyebrows threaded. Think I changed my mind after this?

I see that last year's show can be purchased on iTunes. Good thing getting slammed does not mean not having a credit card. Well, what are you waiting for? Go, get schooled.

Fione Man of the Moment

2010-08-14T20:25:00.000-07:00

Alexander Siddig

Now, you know if I zone out for four months, I'm gonna come back with something about a man, right? And whatta man! Just came back from the first of my two chick flick movies this weekend - Cairo Time with this gorgeous man and some woman (Patricia Clarkson). I first saw Alexander in Syriana with George Clooney (a Fione Man alumus - I think; well, if he isn't, he should be!) a few years back. I can't remember why I didn't obsess over him at the time. Hmmm, some kind of disconnect there. Oh, the second half of this chick flick weekend will be Eat Pray Love. Don't worry, I am sooooo not a Javier Bardem fan (of his wife either).

Anyway, I recommend Cairo Time, if not in the theater, see it on DVD or cable. It's quite touching and probably more realistic than most romantic films these days.

Enjoy!

Hello Waking Hours, It's Me

2010-04-17T12:02:00.000-07:00

Don't you hate when blogs you follow don't post on a regular basis, whether daily, weekly or monthly? I mean, you begin to know us, expect commentary on current events, trends and new products. You expect insight, humor and snark, right? And here I am, not posting on a regular basis, sitting on my ass dreaming up a future or maybe I like dreamin'. I suppose I haven't felt like I had anything important to say. But who am I kidding? Bloggers of all stripes share the most mundane or hey, profane secrets for the hell knows? Hell, somebody finds that shit interesting, right? And yet, I've not been able to get myself to sit down and write. I sure am glad that I don't write for a living, like I wanted to. I'd be one broke bitch.

Now, I'm a big believer in the killer first line. Used to be, I would actually hear a voice laying out the first two or three lines and I'd go from there. Sometimes, the inner voice was give me more than a few lines and I'd be able to build a poem, story or post from them. I went back and saw that I was fairly prolific year before last when I was quite miserable. It's not that misery is an art form for me, but when you're not happy professionally, can you really be happy about anything else? And the last year and a half? Almost next to nothing in my output of writing, and really very happy professionally. What gives with that? I thought misery breeds creativity.

But what does it matter? Getting it write is so much more important than getting it right anyways.

Random Stuff

So, is there anyone else out there who thinks the uptick in militias is very scary? The funny part is that during the 00s, I was asking where these Constitution loving loonies where while the Bush administration was pissing on it and expanding the powers of government that these same self styled patriots were so enamored of. Of course, when the militias and those tea baggers talk about taking back their country, they are only expressing angst that the brown folk will become the country and they've got to stop that. I mean, brown folk in charge? Oh, that'd be terrible. Just terrible. I'm not as interested in why they're making as much noise as they are, as much as why the traditional media feels to the need to make the rest of us feel as if we're in the minority. I mean, wow, add together all the teabaggers with all of the rallies and I'll even let you double - place count and they don't add up to the number of people who protested against the war. Yet, those protests and those protesters were ignored. Teabaggers? They sneeze and there are four reporters to record it. Something just doesn't seem right about that.

My DVR is full of shows that I catch up on during the weekend. Hmmm, maybe that's why I'm not writing, too busy trying to figure out what the hell they're doing on Lost. Other things on my record list? Cougartown, Modern Family, Flash Forward, Vampire Diaries, Treme, Glee, V, The Good Wife, Justified, Southland.. Oh, I'm not even listing out the off season shows, that, lucky for me, not so lucky for you, Dear Reader, will start up soon and I'll be watching, watching, watching. I used to think that the movies was where the good stuff was being made, but for a while now, TV is where the good stuff is. It's no longer the idiot box.

Well, unless you watch Fox News on a regular basis.

My parenting classes have ended. I kinda wish to find a way to keep getting the information without giving up a lunch a week. In the beginning, the behaviors I was given to counter Cam's behaviors were working. He was better; he began to comply and to use his words to communicate. I was feeling better and I think he was. And then, somewhere along the line, I lost it one time and it's been a battle uphill ever since. Sitting listening to each parent tell their stories – most of them had parents who used corporeal punishment, so the conventional wisdom goes that these parents are simply acting out what they know. Unfortunately, that line of thinking actually makes me feel worse, as my parents weren’t hitters. Now, I’m not saying that I didn’t get some spankings in my childhood, but it was not a big part of my life. Heck, I nearly burned the house down and didn’t so much as have my Barbie impounded! So, what’s my excuse? I’m not sure, but I see that I lose my temper pretty quickly, so why wouldn’t I expect Cam to do the same? I’m not walking away from getting us to a harmonious house, mostly because he goes to kindergarten in the Fall and he’s nowhere near ready. This being a parent thing in the LAUSD is a challenge, to say the very least. Last thing I need is my child labeled unteachable. I’m sure I’ll have a post on trying to find his next school. I hope it’s a short, happy post.

Okay, so now that I’m thinking about all of this, perhaps I am depressed and I don’t know it. So, what’s a depressive to do? Well, go to the movies, of course! We headed out to see How to Train Your Dragon. And boy was it great! I just loved it and can’t wait until it’s out on DVD. It’s gonna be in my library and should be in yours too. And forget that whole funky 3D thing. It’s cute, but really not needed when the story is strong and the characters are worth caring about. A strong recommend.

I have lots of things on my mind. Heck, we all do. I haven't wanted to make any promises for fear of disappointing you as well as myself. But that's boring. Right?

It's February Already?

2010-02-12T20:21:00.000-08:00

I'm not sure what is stealing my time away, but I look up and see that the last time I wrote you, Dear Reader, is way back in December. How the hell did that happen? What on earth have I been up to? I can tell you that whatever I've been doing, it's not been with some great guy (well, that's if you don't count Cam or James the cat) or anything else particularly interesting.

One thing I have been doing is going to parenting classes. The first one is mandatory for Cam's preschool. It's a part of the program. I guess making us volunteer once a month, giving me homework and participation in field trips just isn't enough. Nope, I've got to give up two hours per week for ten weeks. That's right, you read that right: twenty precious hours of vacation given up to the old LAUSD. They need teachers? I can tell that whoever thought up this little gem of a waste of time, did so when women stayed home and didn't go out and work for a living. Yeah, we're all thrilled to be in that one.

And then, there's the class I want to be in - it's one hour a week during lunch hour over at UCLA. It's to help me manage Cam's out of control spoiledness. I just made that up. But you get the idea, he's spoiled and thinks he's the king of the world - no offense James Cameron. He doesn't think he has to do anything the teacher, the helper or the other teachers ask him. Actually, he doesn't think he has to do anything he doesn't want to do. And, of course, that's driving me batty. He will obey. One day. Right?

So maybe that's what I've been doing. And working. Yeah, work is going great. So great, that Skinny Gal got promoted and I'm looking for a new admin... I'm doing great! I just reminded myself that I'm depressed about that.

Or, maybe I've been enjoying television. Oh, I am doing that. You can bet that doesn't and will never include Jay Leno on any of his shows (so graceless).

And shopping - gotta love Talbot's sales!

Anything else?

I might break down and try Match.com again. I'm getting lonely and two cats (and a dog - a dog means I can't be a crazy cat lady, right?) really are enough.

Even though my one resolution was to be less lazy, I don't think I'm doing such a good job. Scott Brown is starting to look cute.

Oy vey!

It's Over Already?

2009-12-29T19:06:00.000-08:00

Ah, the first annual Ndel's What the Heck Year Was That?

The Year of the Earth Ox evokes stability and dependability. The Ox is a practical work animal, while the Earth element is steady and firm. Together, they create a kind of plodding energy that can be exasperating. Still, progress will be made in 2009; it will occur in slow, barely perceptible increments. If you stay patient and keep your nose to the grindstone, you will make the most of this ponderous energy.

Oxen place great emphasis on authority and tradition. Therefore, 2009 will lay an especially heavy burden on world leaders. Government officials, CEOs and community organizers will be expected to correct society's ills. If they slack off, they'll be thrown by the wayside. Substance is

always favored over style in the Year of the Ox.

My thoughts are stream of consciousness, so please forgive. And rant. Agree or disagree. Just be, okay?

The World

There is a black man in the White House and he ain't guarding nobody but the people of the United States. Barack Obama is da man. I still think this. Totally understand the Nobel Peace Prize. He is freakin' awesome and I give him an A-. I give him the minus for not totally dismantling some of those Bush era big brother tactics. I am guessing we will have to demand that from him. Let's do it.

What's up with Netanyahu? I think he's a bit jealous of Barack, his wife is hotter.

Was it a conspiracy that both Putin and Obama had shirtless pics published?

Hilary is doing a great job as Secretary of State.

Bill has behaved himself. I'm surprised.

The Idiot Box

Reality peeps really should be considered challenged. I am sick of OctoMom, Jon and Kate, assholes who kill their ex-wives, super duper assholes who put their kids up to lying to the entire nation, as well as big bootied, no talent beauties that parlay that beauty into weekly tell alls. I don't care that Bill and Guiliana are married. Or that there are survivors or dinks travelling the world. I'm okay with dangerous jobs and pet rescuers, but please, spare us the psychopaths, er, I mean attention whores.

What? NCIS is the most watched TV series? How the heck did that happen? It's not interesting, the stories are simple minded. What's the big deal? And don't get me started on why aren't uniformed people investigating Navy crimes... No matter how cute I think LL and Chris are, that show is stupid too.

I am a Gleek. I love Glee. Jane Lynch is a national treasure. I haven't even seen the debut episode that

everyone says is much better than the episodes I have seen. I highly recommend it. And don't ask me if it's like High School Musical. I have no idea.

Mercy on NBC is underrated. It's smart, funny, realistic with just enough soap opera to keep you guessing. Try checking it out. I also like HawthoRNe. I know that the critics are trashing it, but Michael Vartan is almost always worth tuning in for.

I can't wait for the last season of Lost. Technically, I know this is a 2010 item, but I just wanted to prepare you for my obsession.

I am so over Grey's Anatomy. I might be over Fringe; I haven't decided.

True Blood is still great. I still don't get Entourage. I am mad I no longer get Showtime so I did not see the last season of Dexter or Weeds.

I love my DVR; it's the only way I can keep up with all this drivel.

The Big Screen

My movie going dropped off significantly since Cam came on the scene, but I got out to a few flicks this year and my favorite was:

Star Trek. Yup, most fun I had this year at the movies. And I am no fangirl. Although I'm still not happy with the casting of Zoe Saldana as Uhura. However, on the flip side, I am very happy with the casting of Chris Pine.

I also enjoyed The Proposal, District 9, The Soloist, Precious and The Princess & the Frog.

I have yet to see Up in the Air and Avatar. The little, independent films will have to wait for viewing on cable.

While I am on the subject of movies, why do they keep putting Miley Cyrus in movies? She can't act and she can't sing. For that matter, why do I keep seeing Amy Adams in films? I don't see anything special about her either. I have yet to see a Nancy Meyers film that I like (It's Complicated), but I think that the NY & LA cognoscenti like to see themselves in her films (upper middle class to rich, urbane white folk). And no matter what anyone says, Wolverine was possibly the worst movie ever made. With Hugh Jackman. With Ryan Reynolds. With Liev Schreiber. How can a movie with so many hotties fail so utterly and completely?

Music

I listen to stuff from 20 years ago, so I have no comment. Darn kids' music these days sounds like noise to me.

Popular Culture

If Tiger was married to a black woman and his mistresses were black, we wouldn't have heard shit about it.

Twitter really is a good thing. I get a lot of my news from it, as well as tweets from people I don't know, like Ari Melber or Hal Sparks.

Facebook is probably a bad thing, but I like it. Best Facebook crossover tweet ever - "I'm gonna grow pot on my Farmville patch and sell it on Mafia Wars" - unknown.

It's probably not a good thing that Comcast is buying NBC/Universal. This trend in media consolidation has to stop somewhere.

When is the Ugg boot fad gonna be over? For that matter, when did the huge shoulders from the 80s come back?

I miss Paul Newman.

He made me feel good about the world. Especially when I was eating his Raspberry-Walnut dressing.

The food truck trend in LA is most satisfying; especially for my belly. Keep 'em coming. The good ones will stay in business and thrive. Side note, if you haven't tried Kogi yet, do, it's darn good.

The burger trend in LA is a close second. Yum. It's kind of unbelievable how many great burgers can be had in LA these days. Guess I won't be becoming a vegetarian anytime soon.

Molecular gastronomy is here to stay. And a good thing. That shit tastes great.

At least with the economy in the tank, and prices low, I could afford to take a vacation for the first time in seven years.

In closing, in spite of everything, 2009 was a pretty good year. I can't say I'm sorry to see it go, but I am really looking forward to next year. Perhaps Mr. Right will become Mr. Right Now. Let's wish on it.

The Prudent Gal - Shopping til Dropping

2009-12-26T17:30:00.000-08:00

One of my favorite days of the year is the day after Christmas. It's traditionally the day that I spend with my girls with an early start, bagels and coffee at the fresh market at Neiman Marcus. Then we shop. That's when some of the best sales of the year can be had. Oh, and on one day in January, the sales are good too. But you have to be careful to not wait too long so that the selection is still good. I generally find that sweet spot is somewhere between the January 6th & the 14th. I really like beautiful things and that requires shopping, although it (the shopping) gets me in trouble (credit cards anyone?), so I haven't been doing much of it this year. However, with the whole holiday season, I've been getting out more and I've come to realize that I have a few shopping tips I can pass along as my gift to you, Dear Reader.

1. Keep all your coupons, gift cards and such in your car so you'll always have them with you. Actually, keep the gift cards in your wallet. And another important point on gift cards, if your balance falls below $10, in California, the retailer can give you the change back in cash (check your state for their laws, but then again, I do live in an awesome, if not broke, state). Of course, most cashiers don't know this, so you have to ask. I do this without fail, because I refuse to leave cash on the table for the retailer or spend more than I want to in order to "eat up" the balance. Skinny Gal thinks that you should be able to consolidate different gift card balances onto one card. And I have to say I agree. Retailers & credit card issuers, are you listening?

2. Shop early. Try to make the week night preview days for sales. Lunch hour excursions work too. And park at the not so popular side of the mall and walk to your destination. Finding a place to park can be a time sucker.

3. Figure out what your style is, what color schemes you like. Once you do that, you'll be able to zero in on groups of what pleases you on a rack and skip over the stuff that you know you won't like. Also, pick out the lines and designers that you like (I like Burberry, Alfani, INC, Jones New York, Missoni, Faconnable) and that fit your body type and taste. Look for those lines on sale.

4. Go larger. It's better to get a really good piece of clothing larger and have it altered down rather than buy smaller hoping you'll lose those pesky 15 pounds. Besides, you'll look slimmer in the larger size. Smaller sizes just make you look like a stuffed sausage.

5. Shopping the really good sales at department stores (think 50% off lowest marked price) is better than starting off at cheap stores. Have you seen the clothing prices at Sears? They are ripping off poor people! They oughta be ashamed! Tip: TJ Maxx, Marshalls & Ross are great places to shop for kids clothing and toys.

6. Look for the no interest, no payment deals for big ticket items. Divide the total cost in whatever the free term (12, 24 months) and pay that amount each month. Credit for free. It's like cash and well...

7. Develop your peripheral vision, then you can spot items, racks, and interesting stores that you might not see otherwise. I saw three stores, a stairwell, one dress and one restaurant that my sister and niece just did not see at all.

8. Don't be afraid to spend for sturdy, timeless pieces. And jewelry is almost always a good buy, especially when marked down.

9. If you are drawn to something, get it. Easier to return it, then go back and find it gone.

10. If you like it a pair of shoes, shirt or sweater, get it in multiple colors. Especially if the fit is good.

11. Do a little research before (The Google!) to figure out where the item you want is and about how much it costs. Better yet, the item just might be cheaper online. Although, I am one of those people that likes to see check out the quality of an item before I buy and that's impossible online.

12. If you come across something that you think would be perfect for a friend or family member, get it, no matter the time of year. Oh, and give it to them right then. If it's perfect for them, they'll forgive you not getting them gifts at other times. This one comes via the Best Friend, Amber. We never get each other birthday or Christmas gifts, but when we see something we think is perfect for the other, we give it.

13. You can't take it with you; money or things. So enjoy life. Besides, love is free to give and receive. Well, sometimes.

And Precious It Is

2009-11-08T09:14:00.000-08:00

Took my lazy ass out of the house for the first time in several weekends and saw "Precious". It was a must-see and I'm so glad I did. I read the book the film is based on, Push, back in the 90s. But I have to admit that I didn't really care for it and had forgotten almost all of the details. What I did take into the theatre was an awareness of the casting brought to my attention by one of my favorite bloggers Los Angelista. Her point on the casting of light skinned actors to play the inspiration roles was well taken. The caring teacher (and her lesbian lover), social worker and nurse are all played by mixed race actors (Paula Patton, Mariah Carey & Lenny Kravitz respectively). I would have been happier if the director had mixed up his cast a little more, but... well, hindsight is 20/20 right?

The film itself makes up for it. The performances (melanin issues notwithstanding) are excellent all around and I expect to see nominations for both Mo'Nique & Gabourey "Gabby" Sidibe.

However, one can't tiptoe around the subject matter of the film. Yes, there's the incest, violence, language, not subjects that American audiences are eager to see in their films. But there's an even bigger turn off - pig's feet! Roomie & I decided to go the Landmark Theatres instead of down the street to Magic Johnson's Theaters. So, instead of screams of "yuck" during the scenes regarding the lesbians, we got gasps at the sight of pig's feet! Now, I've never eaten pig feet's and I'm not planning on it, but really, was that reaction necessary? Perhaps the audience was skewered Jewish, it was the Westside...

Anyhow, the movie one gets my vote, I mean, if I had one for the Academy Awards. It's nothing like Slumdog Millionaire. TV does play a big role in Precious, but trust me, not in quite the same way.

My Dad's Driving Rules

2009-11-08T08:51:00.000-08:00

Traffic is crazy, especially in my hometown. We practically live in our cars, so it's no surprise that we also yell, scream and curse at some boneheaded drivers. We run into plenty of 'em and in LA, those encounters are plentiful. I think I'm a pretty good driver and it's because of my Dad's rules. The list is short and simple but covers almost every situation.

Driving is 10% skill, 90% nerve. Think about it, most maneuvers we make are those we think can and knowing this is the secret.

Don't make anyone else have to hit their brakes. Merge & turn properly, keep a safe distance - all simple things that if were followed consistently, would result in the avoidance of most traffic accidents.

Gauge your speed. Sometimes you should go faster, sometimes you should go slower. Don't drive in the pack.

Pass on the left. Does that really need explanation?

Add these four simple rules to the traffic rules of your state and you're set. You can drive and do it well.

Thanks Dad!

We Don't Need No Stinkin' Rainbows! For White People Who Have Considered Suicide

2009-09-19T04:30:00.000-07:00

Now you know I just have to weigh on on all of the race talk - or as I think of it, lack of candor in the discussion on race that is barely taking place in the public sphere these days. Look, let's face it, as a country, we do a lousy job of talking, thinking or even acknowledging race as a major issue in our society. One of the reasons that BHO's "A More Perfect Union" speech last year is so admired, is because he dared to be fair and even handed in discussing one of the most, explosive, misunderstood and just plain frustrating facets of human, but especially US society.

I am black. I do not capitalize the term nor do I like to be called African-American. I'm a black woman in a now dominate, but fading, white culture. I see that the status quo is slowly changing and I think, "well good, that's what this country is all about - mixing and making it better!" Unfortunately, a great swath of that once, and still dominate white culture is not so happy. I suppose that if I were white, I might feel the same way. After all, it's hard to give up being the king, right? But being black, a person of color, and considered (albeit probably unconsciously) an outsider, I see things quite differently. And I understand that most white people can't see it the way I do, cause, well, alert the media, they're white.

About 15 years ago (oh, how I shutter to think that I can now say "15 years ago" and not be referring to elementary school), I got into a heated discussion with my sister and mother about how aware white people are about prejudice. I maintained that I thought most white people had no idea it was (and surprise, still is) an ever present reality for black, brown, red & yellow peoples. I thought, and well, still think, that most white people actually believe that there is a level playing field, that everyone has the same opportunities and is judged, hired, loved, schooled, sentenced & thought of more or less the same. It's a very logical position for people who don't think much. And let's be honest, most people do not think. We as humans, find it difficult to think in terms that are not wholly dictated by our own experience. It takes intelligence to put yourself in someone else's shoes without having directly experienced their circumstance. And if those teabaggers prove anything, it's that you can get a gaggle of assholes who don't think to think they can.

So I give white people a pass on this for the most part. Ya'll are ignorant and don't know it. Okay. The problem comes when someone points out either statistics, anecdotes, articles, people or whatever, that support the actual truth that something is out there and it ain't Mulder & Scully. It's the ugly cancer of racism and you just might be infected. That problem gets bigger when WP cannot see at all how their behavior is informed by their own privilege and anger ensues. The enemy isn't the things that keep us apart, it becomes people who point out the truth. To combat this malady, I highly recommend Tim Wise, a white guy, who, according to my philosophy, is highly intelligent because he is able to see beyond his experience and articulate it beautifully. He brings up shit I never thought of to explain why the black experience in the US is fucked up on so many levels.

Yeah, it's hard to face up to the fact that your (that's you white people) actions, thoughts and lives are shaped by race. And, on the face of it, that is admirable. You want the field to be level. You want to think that your success and that of your family is based purely on talent, hard work and perseverance. But it isn't. Never was. We all got a hand helping us or one swatting us down. Your hand? It was a helper. Don't be ashamed of that fact, own it. And once owned, it will be much easier for you to see those around you who did not have those same advantages and perhaps, just perhaps, you can understand that the playing field is not level and never was and will never be unless you do some leveling yourself. I know that's is a difficult thing to do, because it's easy to think initially, you will be handicapping yourself. But really, you won't be, you'll be lifting up the generations that come after you. And isn't that a legacy to be proud of?

Legacies to not be so proud of? Well, I got a few those.

Case #1 - Addison Graves. I, like many citizens, watched BHO, POTUS that is, give his health care reform address to Congress. I watched many on the right side of the aisle behave like high school kids in an assembly right before summer break. They were rude (Eric Cantor, put down your fucking Blackberry!!) and boo-hooed many of the President's statements. Alas, I literally did a double take when I heard either, "liar" or "you lie" come from somewhere on the floor. Like others, I was sure it was some loser in the gallery and not a member of Congress. Imagine my surprise (and yours too, admit it) when I heard that it was a Congressman, one from South Carolina. Side note: what is up with pols from the SC? Is it something in the water down there?

Back to Addison. Okay, I'm not one to think that free speech oughta be stifled, but I was bothered by the lack of decorum and, let's face it, downright rudeness. I did not like George W Bush or many, if any of his policies. I think he pissed on the Constitution almost every day he held office. I think he made one of the worst foreign policy blunders in the history of the world. I think he lied on numerous occasions to the Public and thousands of people have died as a result. And in spite of all of those things, and that's just the tip of the iceberg folks, I think that he deserved respect, at the very least, when he was in front of the House of Congress. They can talk bad about him all they want on the House floor, but when he was addressing them, they should give him the courtesy of saying his peace. And really, he deserved a bit of respect from the People as long as we were unable or unwilling to call him out. That might be a bit too much deference - he's the President so we can't prosecute/impeach/throw out, arrest, disown, denounce him! But that is our problem, not his. As long as he held office, he gets a bit of respect.

Guess Republicans can't say the same, can they? I am fine with a little laughing, booing or other such broad display of disagreement with statements in an address to Congress. What I could and cannot get over, is the very specific words of "you lie!" It's really impossible not to conclude that this outburst was racism and xenophobia wrapped up in one rude comment. Don't think so? Lemme tell you why. Two things - actual words interrupting POTUS tell you that the interrupter does not have respect for the interruptee. Why would that be the case? BHO has been president for about 9 months. He really hasn't done more less than, I think anyone else would have done in his position. You can not like his policies, but there is really no reason to not have respect for him and allow him to say his peace. I gotta conclude that Rep. Graves really has a problem with POTUS that doesn't have a lot to do with he does or doesn't do, it is about him personally. And since we all know he's a cool dude, it's probably because he's a cool black dude.

Next point, what was POTUS talking about when interrupted? Brown people. Graves claims, his emotions got the best of him; he was swept up in anger and just blurted it out. Uh huh. His outburst and display of anger was because that he thinks illegal immigrants (read: brown people or "mexicans" - not that these guys choose to make distinctions between Canadians, Mexicans, Central Americans, South Americans, Irish, Africans, Islanders...) might get health insurance. Not that thousands of people die in the this country every year for lack of health insurance and therefore, lack of health care. Not because we lose talented minds to drugs and prison. Not because we have an epidemic of sexual diseases in this country. Not because we don't have a cure for cancer yet. No, he got angry because people might stay well or get healed when sick? He got so mad that his anger boiled over thinking about the possibility of some brown people getting basic human care? Is he insane? Get mad over people dying, losing their homes for no good reason, having their dignity shat upon aimlessly, but getting that angry over a theoretical possibility that Kaiser Permanente might do a prostate test for Jose? Are you fucking kidding me?

Take a moment to donate to Rob Miller, Graves' Democratic opponent in 2010. I know I will. Plus, he's kinda cute (you know I couldn't resist). Oh, and please don't call Addison Joe Wilson. Joe Wilson is a patriot. Joe Wilson was an ambassador. Joe Wilson's name is really Joseph Wilson. Graves' name is Addison Graves.

Case #2 - The Chatterati Class' unwillingness to admit race has a lot to do with the vehemence currently being outwardly displayed against POTUS is a bit startling. Take people showing up to Presidential events with weapons. This has never happened in modern history. Even when Bill Clinton signed the Brady Bill, people did not show up to his events with guns. Why is it happening now? Well, low and behold, some white people don't like the fact that an uppity nigra in the White House you know. Bringing those guns? That is showing him who is really boss. Blacks know this well, "don't get too big for your britches nigger, we'll shoot you right down!" Literally. This is racism/prejudice/race hatred all wrapped up in an assault riffle, just to remind BHO (and all of us other uppity negroes) that not all that long ago, Emmett Till has killed for whistling at a white woman. You know that saying, "never forget"? Well we don't. The Media does. But that just goes back to my initial premise; the Media is largely white. And alas, that means they don't know any better. But they are supposed to be intelligent. Actually, extremely intelligent, so I'm going to guess that part of their shocking lack of candor and powers of observation is because of two things. One, they have made the calculation that to speak truth would upset some imaginary apple cart. And two, their own whiteness gets in the way of seeing and interpreting racist actions for what they are: racist.

Advice to the Media? Grow a pair!

Case #3 - Serena Williams. I have not watched the rant on purpose. I think she was wrong. If she said half of what I have heard reported, poor child was madder than I can think of anyone being. But at least she was mad about something that involves her directly - her well being, her money, her life, her career. Not some ideology or philosophy that she was afraid is losing ground. I suppose I could work up quite the vulgar rant if my financial well-being was being directly threatened.

Where I think the race issue comes in, is how black women are largely perceived by the white world. If we display mad, sarcastic or some other behavior observed in white folk all the time, all of the sudden, we're "threatening". Hell, it sounds like Serena was threatening. However, I'm still most disappointed in her. Black women are burdened with the perception of being hard and mean and bitchy and threatening everyday in every way. Conventional wisdom is that we are meaner, louder, bullier, nastier, fouler, angrier than other women. We can't keep our mouths shut. We can't just be nice. We can't keep our voices down or our men out of trouble (that's another post). We are not loving, caring, soft or nurturing. That is what a lot of people think of black woman and Serena just confirmed it for a hell of a lot of them. Man, if there were white guys thinking of asking black women out, I think they're reconsidering now...

I know the call was hard one to take. I know there have been questionable ones in the past. I know that she's a fierce competitor. But I wish she hadn't gone quite so far. Not that I think she would have escaped criticism altogether if she had been less vulgar, but I wish that she could have remembered that the field is not level. And won't be for a while, not until we blend. Not until we have erased years of some of the most insidious treatment people have endured in history. I wish she would have had some class. I wish she hadn't done it.

Case #4 - ACORN. Details are not important here. Whether or not some staffers did unwise things are not at issue. What is at issue is that ACORN has become a boogie man for the right wing. ACORN has become a defacto code word for blacks & browns, you know, the poor people. I have no thoughts that the entire ACORN organization is the worst thing that ever happened to government grants. But I do wonder why these zealots spend their time trying to bury a mere $6 million a year group, that, as far as I can tell, never killed or raped people, humiliated groups or terrified regions, or did so at our behest of our government for the humble sum of $240 million a year.

But then again, Z (formerly Blackwater) is a white organization. And it doesn't help poor people. It helps white people. It helps some white people become rich, very rich. It doesn't seem to do much to help anyone outside its own sphere. It does seem to be about screwing the people for the benefit of a few. Yeah, I said it. Take that and put in your damned teabags. And while you're at, define socialism and fascism as well as communism and capitalism.

Didn't think so.

*************

No, racism is not gone. It is very much alive and on display. The days of white dominance are dying. It's a creeping feeling, confirmed everyday by the election of brown people to positions of power; by the hiring of minorities at companies; by the influence of hip hop, salsa and other ethnic forms of music into the mainstream. It's Oprah. It's Telemundo. It's Jet Li. It's a thousand and one things that white people feel are taking over their country. The problem is, they're right and they're wrong. Our culture is changing. But it's not their country; it's all of our country. The brains trusts are slowing migrating from WASP to many walks of life, schools of thought and prisms of experience. But it will be alright, I promise. As long as we hold this truth to be evident, all men & women are created equal, we will have a society that is vibrant and diverse. It doesn't have to be white to be good. It just has to be good.

Fione Man of the Moment

2009-09-13T17:45:00.000-07:00

Rep. Anthony Weiner (D-NY)

It's a HPA - and no, that's not some new strain of STD. HPA stands for Hot Pol Alert. And boy is Anthony Weiner hot! He's all over the place as an eloquent voice for the public option in the healthcare debate, an accomplished politician and so young - at 45, he's one handsome man. While not married (yea!), he is engaged (boo!). Regardless, he can defend my health and healthcare anytime! Here's to a fione man with an even fioner mission! Thanks for caring Rep. Weiner!

In Defense of Doing Nothing

2009-09-13T15:29:00.000-07:00

Since I’ve not found the energy to do much today, other than get up to get food, I suppose I should give some defense to the notion that there is absolutely nothing wrong with doing nothing. I heart doing nothing. Nothing makes me rest; nothing gives me stamina to do something. Nothing is quite wonderful and should be done more often. My only worry is that I’ve grown so accustomed to doing nothing that doing something seems almost a downright betrayal.

But on the other hand, it’s not like I’ve been a shut in; almost, but not quite a shut in. I have visited friends, gone to parties, museums, dinners… But bring me a lovely Sunday like today and I’m much more comfortable laying in my bed, the center of my universe, watching the Sunday shows, reading the political columns and playing mah jong on Facebook.

But then, I start thinking.

Now that’s not doing nothing, is it? I watch the political shows discussing 9/12, as if it weren’t some construct of Faux News & a few right wing lobbying firms (coupled with some seriously delusional everyday folk who should practice doing nothing). And I think to myself, “I should do something!” And then I roll over and think about how wrong they are and right I am, and that doing something would require actually talking to some of these freak jobs. How quickly does doing nothing appeal after head splitting exchanges with those who will not heed to logic or facts? I’ll give you three guesses...

I could write a check for other people to talk to the wackos for me, those with stronger wills and untapped reservoirs or patience, but I’m broke. Maybe I could write a diary on Daily Kos. But for that, I’d have to muster more energy than it takes me to write an entry for my own blog. No, just better for me to lay here, thinking about how stupid those people are, than actually doing something about it. I mean, what you can do about peoples’ willful ignorance anyway?

Don’t get me wrong, I am not in any way advocating ceding ground to the nut cases, but I already read the political columns and what do they tell me? They tell me that there are a lot of white people really mad that a black man is in charge. Who, by the way, deny that’s the real reason why they’re being so irrational on completely unrelated issues. I don’t think anything I could do could change those attitudes, other than living my life as I do. But, I do know that I can add my voice (the Web makes that so easy), but signing petitions and writing a letter or two to my elected officials stating that I support one position over another. I notice I tend to do these types of things Monday through Friday for some reason. Make no mistake, laziness can give the impression that the patients have taken over the asylum and that only their concerns need be met.

I think of all of this, while I luxuriate in nothingness. Some nothing that is, right? I wish that my house could be cleaned by all my ruminating, worrying and pontificating (to no one but the cats). But then, cleaning would be doing something. And we all know how I feel about that.

Two Months?

2009-09-10T13:48:00.000-07:00

Has it really been that long? My, the time flies when you're lazy and broke, like me. August sucked anyways. Too many town halls with people with not a lot of brains. I think I must promise to write again once I am over this fever. Not another excuse.

Okay, another excuse, but a good one, nonetheless. More later. What to ruminate on? Politics? Food? Celebrity? Kids? Social media? The list is endless, which is why I should not have any excuse.

A blog post. Soon.

Shining, New City on the Hill - Bring It!

2009-07-16T10:00:00.000-07:00

A few years back, I had a wonderful boss, which whom I am still very friendly. She is a tall Latina and since I am of, at least, better than median height for a woman, she would sometimes refer to the bland, boring bureaucrats that we sometimes dealt with as “weenie men”. And she would look down when she said it. She would also say, quite frequently, “step aside white men; the brown people are coming!”

So, I say to the Republicans on the US Senate Judiciary Committee, “step aside white men, we are here!”

The jig is up; your party is over; the fat lady (who is probably brown) has sung. Your ship has sailed; the chicken is out of the coop; you are so over. Or, in other, less polite terms, shut the fuck up.

Sonia Sotomayor is imminently qualified to be an Associate Justice of the US Supreme Court. Who confirmed you ninnies? The voters? Half of can’t keep our noses clean (and I mean that literally). These questions are bordering on the ridiculous now. The bias shown to white maledom is astonishing. And I know you don’t understand, because frankly, you’re not that smart. Bright, learned, schooled and educated you might be. But smart? That’s a whole ‘nother level my friends. Let me see if I can try to break it down for you. Try to follow along.

Because white maledom’s views, thoughts and opinions have been the (imposed) standard for most of this country’s history, it is the de facto view, philosophy, outlook that the power structure naturally thinks how people should think, act and feel. That view started to change in the 60s with the basic acknowledgment of blacks, browns, Jews, reds, women Catholics and homosexuals. White folk (as I will call “regular” white people collectively) aren’t very keen on this, because they fear that they will lose standing (dominance). The white power structure (that’s you Senators) flames these fears in order, not so much to maintain this standing for the people you claim to represent, but mostly to retain personal power for yourselves.

Regardless of the motivations of the WPS, it has run headlong into something called demographics. The WPS, along with WF, are under the illusion that the United States of America can be like other countries with one dominant culture and group of people. But see, that’s not reality. See, cause BP procreate at a higher rate, as well as immigrate from other countries. Now, this is mostly because people in traditionally white countries (i.e., Europe), kinda like where they’re at (ya figure? universal health care?) and don’t immigrate here; except for those pesky Irish. Suppose now that their “miracle” economy is in the shitter, they’ll once again be gracing our shores in large numbers. However, they are the okay illegals, right? Nobody calls La Migra over the surname of O’Shaunessy.

Back to demographics – reality is that brown, black, red & yellow folk will out number SF within the next 30 years. That kind of shift means that the cultures of said folk becomes our culture. Yes, you read that correctly. I said that the “values” that you grew up with may not be the ascendant values in, say 10 years.

So I understand why you are so afraid of my sister, Sonia Sotomayor. Ya’ll played nice, with a little affirmative action that enabled her to gain entrance to Princeton. But she didn’t follow the program and simply do a’right, get a cushy public or private sector job and blend in. Nope, she stayed Latina. She stayed Puerto Rican. She kicked white boy butt and graduated summa cum laude. And went on to be exemplary in everything she did. So she is the magic Latina, in much the same way that Thurgood Marshall was the magic Negro. I’m not sure who the magic Native American or Asian is or will be, but trust me, they are coming.

She has met the tests and passed with flying colors. She is worthy. Yes, she means that your definition of mainstream will change; actually should change. However, she should not be feared – nor others like her, with ideas, thoughts, beliefs and philosophies different from your own. She should be hailed, as she represents all that is good with the American Way. She is smart, accomplished, educated and fair. What more must she be? I know that it will be difficult for you, but think of your future brown great grandchildren, laughing, eating tortillas, pasta & collard greens. It is nothing to be frightened of. All culture shifts, mutates, changes. It would not be culture if it didn’t; it would be history.

So, I know you’re all sitting up on the dais, but a new United States of America is birthing. It’s been a very long labor, but it’s almost here. Don’t stand in the way.

Love is All There Is?

2009-07-08T21:14:00.000-07:00

Yeah, love is all there is. It's all there should be and probably all I want. Love from my son, family and friends. A measure of love from my colleagues. Love, in leave me alone those of you I don't know (and probably wouldn't care to). Love is all around us, isn't it?

I imagine that's all Michael Jackson wanted; he just thought that more of us would love him if he looked white, maybe was white. Such a shame. I'm sad for his children, whatever race they are. I hope that their mother is seeking them because she loves them and not the money that will come with them.

And what about that Mark Sanford? Oh, he's in love and it sounds like somebody loves him back. I think he should chuck it all, head down to Argentina and be with her. I'd respect that. I don't respect the disrespect of his wife. She should love him and let him go. Love is letting him go. I will not speculate on the love of their children. I'm sure they both love them deeply. More reason for them to part.

Oh, and Sarah Palin? I think it's clear that she loves herself more than anyone or anything. What I don't understand is why anyone would love her, especially a thinking voter. Love in this case, would be love of self - she can love herself and we can love ourselves by letting her go far, far away and never bother us again.

If love were that simple...

It all about love; walking to the corner or applying some makeup. Even flirting online. But I'm sure Prudent Gal will have something to say about that. Eventually.

What I Do For World Peace

2009-06-12T15:40:00.000-07:00

Today is, hands down, the best day of the last month!

Today, Ndel had an actual, real life, genuine response directly from a Fione Man of the Month! Dontcha love it? I do!

Oh, bless you Twitter! What the social media networking gods hath wrought!

The other day, I was thinking about all of the negative press regarding Obama's Middle East initiatives and the reaction by (some) Israelis. The rhetoric was getting to me as a Black Chick was has lived in Israel and loves it. What I don't love is the sometimes attempts to paint anyone who questions Israel as anti-Semitic. And I especially don't like anyone messing with the Black-Jew love I've had going for 25 years or so. So, I tweeted that I wanted to marry an Israeli man, preferably with some Arab to end this whole thing. What I offer to do! Oh the sacrifice. I offered up Ari Melber (October Fione Man of the Month) as a possibility, even though he's not Israeli. My gal pals from Israel might contend that it's written in the stars for me to marry, at the least, a Jewish man, but talk to them about the German I ended up marrying, and they'll throw up their hands. That marriage, they'll contend, was not supposed to be. I got confused and they forgive me. Back to Ari-gate. Turns out, his father is Israeli. Score!

To make a short story even shorter, the related tweets are below, start at the bottom:

So, I got a tweet from Ari. Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm in tweaven!

Of course, I'll still have to take back that earlier offer to marry Matt Taibbi. I'm sure he'll understand. I can't spell his name.

Ndel's Cruise Fashion Laws

2009-05-26T16:02:00.000-07:00

So many things wrong with this picture.

I’ve come to terms with who I am. I may not like some things, such as my weight. But I’m self aware and I know that I could lose weight. I also know enough about myself to know that starvation, even if it meant Mr. Casablanca on a silver platter, would only be this ---- satisfying, cause I’d be miserable not enjoying my gourmet (as well as junk) food, champagne and chocolates. I can rant about my weight and how my clothes don’t fit or whatever… Rant away, I tell myself. In the end, Ndel, you gotta love yourself and accept you – warts, cellulite and all. Now, I’m not trying to say that one shouldn’t better themselves; not at all. I believe that we have to make the best of what we’ve got. You know, play up the strengths, cover-up the flaws and camouflage when you can. That’s simple, right? We all wear black. Why? ‘Cause it makes us look thinner, that’s why. You know that.

So, why on this green earth, do women insist on wearing decidedly unflattering things?

Especially on cruise ships? My cruise ships to be exact.

Trace and I took a little jaunt on Carnival this past weekend. I know last year I wrote that I’d never take Carnival again (the trailer park of all the cruise lines), but the price was so good, I spent three times it at the spa! Don’t care what you say; I’m doing my part for the economy! Last year’s trip was quite the nightmare. But, I have to say, they redeemed themselves this time around. Not only was the crew friendly and actually offered to do some serving, but the ship was clean and the class of folk most improved. We skipped on the show (ship entertainers doing gospel just doesn’t sound right, does it?), but we did make the art auction (free champagne, need I say more?) and hit the dance floor on multiple nights.

One thing we didn’t do was take pictures of some truly clueless women. Since Cam killed my camera a couple of months ago, I’ve been debating what to do. Buy a new one with greatly improved zoom or live with the two cameras in my smart phones, neither of which is very good and one doesn’t have zoom or flash (Apple, that was a BIG mistake). So, to make a long story short – we just don’t have any pictures of this what not to wear cruise. It’s not like we take a lot of pictures anyway, but man, I sure was puzzled by the number of women I saw this weekend who really seemed to have no clue as to best play up their assets and downplay their flaws.

For instance, Ndel’s bathing suits law #1: only 10% of us look good in two pieces, otherwise known as a bikini. Yes, I know you just lost that 20 pounds (and I seem to have conveniently found them on my tummy), but really, have you looked at your stomach lately? No? Let me get you reacquainted with it, and it’s stretch marks (those 20 pounds left you a little present!), it’s dimples that only a million sit ups a day will ever make go away and that bulge the kid left ya with. That’s right – you may be thinner but your stomach – the thing you’re showing off in that two-piece is not the prettiest it’s ever looked. Believe me, I’m looking at it. I sincerely wish I wasn’t. And I’m not even picking on the muffin top bikini wears, cause that’s a sin I was saving for the blue jean portion of this manifesto.
Ndel’s bathing suits law #2? Ladies, there are companies out there that make suits with lift. As in up. Lift up them puppies. Heck, I have tatas that must weight 10 lbs each and I found something to give me a bit of foundation. Avoid sagging at all costs! If you’re ass sags, get one of those fashionable skirt suits. Please do not wear a strapless, high thigh cut suit. I beg of you. Do not wear one of those one piece backless numbers to try to get out of this rule. That is a two piece suit masquerading as a one piece. If only 10% of women can safely wear bikinis, only 10% of the 10% can wear those man eaters. And I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that’s probably not you. So just go with me on this one and spend a little time and maybe a little money (Loehmann’s carries all kinds of suits at great prices) to play up your strengths ladies!

As a matter of fact, my current suit (by MiracleSuit) plays up my twin assets (considering I have no ass) quite nicely, while helping me reign in this belly of mine. I still have my hips, so I achieve an hourglass shape – which is what women should want to do. Curves, ladies, curves! Two piece suits just don’t give you curves if you don’t naturally have them. And let’s face it; most of us don’t. Do not fall into the trap that two-pieces are sexier or make you look younger. They do not. Leave them for the 10 percenters who need as much oxygen to their brains as possible. Go with dignity. Go with camouflage. Go with color. Besides, leaving a little to the imagination is inherently sexier than letting it all hang out. Right guys?

Ndel’s bathing suit law #3? Bring a cover up. A sarong. A sheer, long shirt. A sheer skirt. Linen pants. Anything. Oh, and a hat. Cover up when necessary. I don’t want to see your sagging tits, stretch marked stomach and bleached out hair over the buffet; it’s already not that good. Your presence looking like that makes it downright upchuckable.

So, now it’s dinner time. And you’re wearing… What are you wearing? Those princess cut dresses only look good on a very thin frame. One you don’t have. Oh, and the long sundress with plunging necklines? Fine for smaller breasted women – or women who know where to find strapless bras. What’s up with you? Nothing, and that’s the problem. Never heard of strapless? And those clear straps don’t count. And for those of you, who wear your clubbing outfit to dinner, just make sure it’s appropriate for both, okay? If you are wearing a tight, short dress – that’s fine, but can you sit at the table and not show your stuff? Or when you’re dancing, does it ride up? Listen, can you not show your stuff? That’s the question. I know your man might want to see it (might not, never know), but I’m pretty sure he’s not down with all the other guys seeing it too. If you have to pull at something constantly, pass. Really, throw it out. It’ll do you no good.

And at the club, please, please, do not wear your short negligee with a slit up to the top of your thigh. I don’t care if you are wearing a g-string. You look like an inflated kewpie doll with an attention problem. Scandalous is the adjective; tacky is the verb. Or those hip hugger jeans when you are not leaner than Kate Moss (see muffin top above). Don’t have an ass (like me)? Stay away from low-slung jeans. They are not your friend. Who told you they were????? And even if you do have the body, please do not wear a cut-off shirt with half your fake boobies hanging out, k? It makes the rest of us feel deficient and fearful that a fight will break out amongst the men. Spare us the drama. Besides, you’re pulling it down all the time, so it fits squarely in the throw it out category. Unless you’re not pulling it down, which means you’re a slut and you wear what you want. Just don’t come crying to the rest of us when the rest of you sags, but your breasts are still perky.

And let me close by reminding my sisters that weaves need maintenance. If you’re not going to do it, you might want to rethink that hairstyle. And just remember, a woman with a nappy weave is never envied; only laughed at. Trust me; I do it all the time. You do not have to have long hair (at least not surgically attached to your scalp). Short hair is an option. People ask me all the time why I cut my hair and potentially scared off my soul mate, cause as we all know, men love long, luxurious locks. Well, it’s cheaper, very little maintenance and I can always wear a wig. When I had long hair, I could never have short hair. But now that I have short hair, I can have long hair as long as there’s a Korean wig shop in the neighborhood. I find it liberating and inexpensive. Plus, I can hide from the bill collector when I need to. I realize it takes a strong man to love a woman with shorter hair than he. Obviously, I need a strong man and that’s okay.

In short, we all have flaws. I have flaws. You have flaws. It’s okay; no one is perfect. We’ve got to accept them and go about a deliberate campaign to erase, hide or camouflage them when we can. When we have a zit, we medicate and cover. We should have the same philosophy when it comes to leisure fashion. Medicate with champagne, play up your strengths and be the life of the party without trying too hard. You’ll have fun, meet cooler people and feel better about yourself.

I promise.

Next time? The online dating profile pictures women should never respond to.

Appreciating the Downside

2009-05-05T05:38:00.000-07:00

This is a post of two movies. One movie rooted in confusion and not very interesting fantasy and the other rooted in filthy squalor along side waves of metallic shine less than five miles from my home. Both movies star hunky men whom I admit I find attractive. Admittedly, the two more attractive in the mess of a movie Wolverine. The other two attractive stars starring in a movie I think captures my home city in a way that no other has in many a year, The Soloist.

Let's start with the fantasy, mostly because I fantasize that one day I'll meet Hugh Jackman, he'll fall instantly in love with me and I'll become Mrs. Jackman (no offense to the current Mrs. Jackman meant). Well, maybe that's not exactly how my particular fantasy goes, but it'll do for now; I'm sure little eyes are prying. Okay, Wolverine. Where do I start? By now, you've got the picture that I love Hugh Jackman; adore him; think he's hot; think he's supremely talented; loved his Oscar hosting abilities... I love me some Hugh Jackman. I love him enough to say that this movie has got to be the absolute worst I've seen in years.

Now that's tough love.

The official title is X-Men Origins: Wolverine. The problem is that the origins are never explained. Even comic books have rules; they have back stories - why did such & such become whatever???? Right? Wolverine's mutant origins are far from clear; he just has them one day. The movie starts when he and his brother are young boys, but they stop aging when, what 35? Why? No explanation for this is given. They hop from war to war, wearing the same hairstyles - even when in the armies for the Civil War, WWI, WWII & Vietnam? Dude, it's hot there, why would you want longish hair or a beard? And get this - what I've just relayed all happens during the opening credits. As you can tell, by this time, I was really looking forward to the actual movie.

I would tell you the story, but there wasn't one. Something about a special band of mutants - I'm not into comic books, so there might have been some characters that I should have known, but didn't. I can say that Ryan Reynolds is underused in this sequence. He has a few lines to clue us to his identity at the end as the super dooper X dude or something (I know it's some other Marvel character - but by that time, I really didn't care to listen). These dudes go into do a job to find something that the villain (Col. Stryker) wants and it's clear that Wolverine's bro, likes to get his gun off. Why Wolfy didn't figure this out in the preceding 100 years he's spent IN WAR with the boob is beyond me. He's had enough; he won't kill just cause commanding officer says so.

He leaves, falls in love, girl dies, he emotes. Oh, gawd, I don't know why I'm telling you this non-sensical plot. Because even though there's a sequence of events, a plot they do not make.

Suffice to say Origins sucks, kinda like in the Star Wars first episode movies were far inferior to the original ones that told of later escapades. The X-Men franchise really is one that had a very good track record. With this movie, I think they've damaged that meme. A smart movie with a good director could have delivered a returning fan for movies to come. Alas, that is not to be for me any longer. They can continue the struggle without me.

As for Hugh. Call me. Or Tweet. I'll be looking out for ya.

Now, The Soloist, starring Robert Downey Jr. and Jamie Foxx, is a gem of a movie. Neither of these very virile and handsome men are at their appearance best here - quite on purpose. RDJ plays my favorite LA columnist, Steve Lopez or SLo, as he called himself in a series of columns about JLo a few years back. He's funny, smart, sarcastic and a joy to read. He's one of the reasons I continue to subscribe to the LA Times, besides the fact that reading my daily paper makes me feel smart and informed - but that's another blog post. Jamie Foxx plays Nathaniel Ayers, a mentally ill homeless man, with a love and talent for music living at Pershing Square, five blocks from the gorgeous Disney Hall, the home of the LA Phil (go Esa-Pekka!).

The movie tells the story of how they meet; SLo sees columns and Mr. Ayers sees, well, who knows? I, like many other Angelenos, read the original columns when they were published, so I felt like I knew the players here. I remembered large details, like how Mr. Ayers had a special stick to beat back the rats when he slept on the street, that the movie left out. I was disappointed, but understood the filmmakers had their reasons. Just like they had their reason to show LA in it's beauty, the backdrop of the Disney Hall is breathtaking, as well as to show it's squalor - like depicting the people, including families, who live(d) in the porta potties, on Skid Row to have just a little shelter for the night. SLo, in his columns, wrote about that too, he wrote columns about the other denizens of Skid Row, that the movie does not really touch upon, but rather, depicts a vague essence of their plight. It gives us a few moments to reflect upon those less fortunate than ourselves; those without eyes or health or beauty or faculties. It gives us just a moment's dose of reality. How they live; that they find a way to live in filth, violence, degradation and humiliation; they live. They smile and stop when music, beautiful music is played. They can appreciate talent. They do appreciate humanity when given the chance.

Now that I write this and reflect upon the film, the message, the story, I am humbled. I didn't realize that it touched me so. I told everyone that The Soloist showed my Los Angeles, the ole we don't get to see on the big screen often, even though we see the backdrop of LA all the time. And while others may be embarrassed by our homeless problem (and it is a problem) being unfurled for the world to see, I am proud. For I see people. Alive people.

On My Mind

2009-05-01T19:42:00.000-07:00

These last couple of weeks have been kind of interesting.

Dinner at Cut with Skinny Gal & Trace was pretty awesome. In the dining room was the drummer from Rush and that mixed kid from High School Musical. The food was really good - if you go, stick with the meat and the pumpernickel bread. Oh, and the desserts. Do NOT forget your wallet.

Umami Burger has made their menu revolving; meaning they took the mideast burger off. I'm bummed. But I still love the place. Also, Milk has a soft spot in my heart. Stuff seems real good.

Pho is one of my favorite foods and if you haven't had the beef soup, you must try it soon. I just learned that East Garvey Avenue in South El Monte, where I just did three days of flood school, is ground zero for pho in LA County (in the OC - it's Westminster or Little Saigon).

I'm on Twitter and I love it. I get almost all of my news from Tweeters there (Time, Politico, NY/LA Times, Newsweek, The Nation). You can follow me if you like and I'll follow you back. I really like it, especially since I got an iPhone. It's ridiculously expensive, but I LOVE it. The only thing I think must be fixed is that the flash less camera sucks, which is why I am not posting any pictures from it. I am urging Trace to at least get the new Palm Pre when it comes out sometime this month, but she's resisting. I don't know why. I have no problem being connected - maybe that's because I don't have that many people connected to me, so it's not a problem. Pointless maybe, but not a problem.

I'm also, super addicted to Mafia Wars on FaceBook. I'm at level 10, but can't go further until more of my friends join my family. And you know how difficult it is to get someone to join family events...

Like me, who did not want to go to a function that my sister organized for the mentors and teachers for her autistic son, who is graduating from high school next month. Boy was I wrong. It was one of the most beautiful things I've ever seen - teachers being honored by a student and his family. It really needs to happen more often. I think this needs to be a new permanent trend. Much better than those extravagant party for spoiled brats that MTV celebrates, doncha think?

Oh, and I'm getting fatter. Must be all those Umami burgers. No lovers in sight. Need new clothes. Lost is almost over for the season, boo hoo. The swine flu concerns, but does not scare me. Isn't that Obama amazing? And Cam says that he loves me every day.

I'm blessed.

CUT it In

2009-04-16T11:06:00.000-07:00

Tonight, I have the honor of taking Skinny Gal to Cut for her birthday. Trace is going to join us and we're very excited. Trace & I got the chance to try CUT in Vegas and it was heavenly. I'm really looking forward to their brussel sprouts with speck (thick bacon), it's the most awesome brussel sprout dish ever. With a bottle of prosecco, who can go wrong? Not us. I'm thinking a New York cut. And dessert; most definitely dessert. We'll be sure to post pictures!

The Perils of White Women Continued

2009-04-01T20:35:00.000-07:00

On Sunday, a USC co-ed & a fellow student were hit by some lawless sons of bitches. The female died from her injuries at a local hospital and the male was carried 500 feet on the windshield of the vehicle before the assholes stopped and threw him off.

Pretty heinous, right?

Worth $135,000 reward?

Doubtful.

The LA City Council is putting up $75k, USC is putting up $50k and LA County Supervisors is putting in another $10k. This is within three days of the incident.

How many unsolved murders are out there? How many hit and run accidents taking the lives or maiming others?

Countless.

I can't help but think this kind of outrage about a dead white girl (wait, is Fox on the scene? They haven't had a WW to hang their ratings on in a while; Natalee Holloway just doesn't reel 'em like she used to) is hyped up "concern". I'm sure if I did a search of hit and run accidents where there was a fatality, I'd find plenty. I'm equally sure that I would not find such hefty rewards attached. Let's face it, as tragic as this is, and it is tragic, this young women left no children to care for. She was cut down at the beginning of her young life, this is true, but I'm failing to see where the cost analysis for the reward is coming from.

Yes, I am. She's white. The boy was white and frankly, this much money would never have been ponied up for a black or brown teenagers.

Even if the mother held a picture up and sobbed for the cameras.

Well, maybe a $5,000 reward.

Maybe.

2009-03-29T18:30:00.000-07:00

The Right One – Momma Said
The Good Guy
Nice Guys Do Finish First

He’s nice. He has a good job. He brings you flowers. He is faithful. He is honest. Okay, three out of five ain’t bad. Momma said he would be a nice boy, from a good family. Hopefully, a doctor, but not a lawyer. A banker, but not a broker. In insurance, but not in assurance. A police officer, but not a security guard. Mommas want so much for their daughters. They want the best of men. They want the staunchest of men. They want the most devoted of men.

There aren’t enough to go around. Somebody’s daughter has got to get the bottom of the barrel.

So why have your mother’s nice guys who have crossed your path over the years seemed like geeks? Like losers? Like nobody you’d want to date - ever? Maybe just because your mother told you he was a “nice” guy. These good guys, these nice guys, are storied in feminine circles to be highly desirable. But guys hate being labeled, “nice” or “good”. They see it as the kiss of death. Probably because once identified, they fear they’ll never get kissed. It is the kiss of death. Probably because once we have identified them, we fear perpetual boredom.

The Wrong One – Daddy Said
The Bad Boy
When A Bad Boy Can Be Good For You

He’s dangerous. He’s fast. He runs with the wrong crowd. He’ll get you in the wrong way. He won’t be faithful. He’ll leave you, or even worse, he’ll leave you with no money. And a vaginally disfiguring disease.

You want him badly.

If Daddy knew, he’d get out his shotgun. The thought is tantalizing. To be wayward and highly sexed in the same breath. It’s almost too much to bear. The eventual pain and loss means nothing (that is, until hit with their force). You gleefully jump, feet first, into the relationship, or liaison or screw fest (whichever it may be) with the gusto and naiveté of a child. You act like you’ve never seen his slithering ways before. You overlook the blank stare when you share your thoughts. You make excuses when he breaks another date. You rationalize his pathetic behavior in front of your friends. And it’s all good. He’s worth it. Your pain is worth it. But is it?

Do you care? Should you care?

Uh huh. Most definitely. Most assuredly. Hell yes.

No one really knows why the Bad Boy holds such an ambiguously exalted position in our cultural psyche. I don’t think anyone knows when he entered it either. The vogue for the last four decades has been to describe a dark (oh, the connotations that can muster) brooding man with a cigarette. Usually dressed in black (that “dark” connotation again) with rugged good looks and sneer. He hates the world, or, at least, has one hellava grudge against it. What this grudge is, no one in recorded history has been able to adequately explain. Yet, there he is, on a corner, leaning on his motorcycle, cigarette burning, jeans tight, his sexuality calling out to yours. He is irresistible and he knows it. He exploits it. You desire it. Some women spend most of their adult lives trying to shake him.

But let’s expand the definition of Bad Boy. It really includes men with high levels of toxicity of all types – emotional and physical. Traits in men that all women are all too familiar with. Having said this, it becomes clear that almost all women have some history with a Bad Boy. The question is why. Why have women been so attracted to men clearly not good for them? And once identified, why do we keep going back to the same fork in the road, in relationship after relationship and choosing the same treacherous path?

Well, if I knew the answer to that question, most certainly, I’d be a millionaire right now.

The Power of the Eye

2009-03-29T09:28:00.000-07:00

The last month has been filled with ER retrospectives, pieces on Entertainment Tonight as well as newspaper articles about the long running show. I used to watch it religiously, but haven't for something six years. My favorite character was Dr. Mark Greene, played by Anthony Edwards, and when he left, I left. Okay, that's not true either. I actually checked out when his character hooked up with Alex Kingston's character (I forgot her name). That was after Eric LaSalle made a big deal that his character had to be with a black woman; in spite of the fact that his character (asshole) was a better fit with AK's character. They lost me at blackmale.

Anyways, I haven't watched the show and wasn't worse for wear for it. I found other outstanding television shows, namely The Wire & Deadwood, two shows that rank right up there for me as far as excellent in entertainment. But one ER episode holds, for me, the title of the best hour of television drama that I've ever witnessed. So, it warmed my heart this morning, perusing the Sunday LA Times (yes another reason why I read the paper everyday - but that's another post), to see an ode to that very episode this morning; "Love's Labor Lost" the only TV show episode of any show I know the title of. The only episode of a TV show that can bring tears to my eyes by just thinking of it.

What's the episode about? In short, in addition to the regular cacophony that was the general background noise (but interesting background noise, nevertheless) of ER, it's about a pregnancy gone wrong; very wrong, really, really, really wrong. Mark Greene was the center of the episode and maybe that's why he's my favorite character (I got an autographed photo from him sometime in '96; still got it too). And, as I recall, it was the first ER episode I bothered to watch. I'm not much for medical dramas, but in that first year, ER had such buzz, I decided to tune in.

And tune in, I did. For the next how many years. That one episode convinced me that ER was a great show. So during the summer, I watched to catch up on the previous episodes I'd missed. And, after I saw the premiere episode, I know that if I had watched it, I still would have been hooked. That, my friend is the mark of something good; really good. There was a point, and I don't know exactly when, that ER was givng us, the poor non-cable paying public, some of the best scripted material to watch, period.

As I said, I don't know how the story lines fared in these last few years, but I do know that ER and LLL will always hold an exalted place in my heart - the television that should be done: smart, emotional, entertaining, and sometimes not a happy ending.

Farewell ER. You were a contender. Actually, you were a winner. Thank you.

A Little Friday Dance - Shake It Baby!

2009-03-13T18:31:00.000-07:00

FIONE Jon Stewart Makes Cramer Really Uncomfortable

2009-03-13T16:02:00.000-07:00

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 1

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 2

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

The Daily Show With Jon StewartM - Th 11p / 10c

Jim Cramer Unedited Interview Pt. 3

Daily Show Full Episodes
Important Things w/ Demetri Martin

Political Humor
Jim Cramer

Fione Man of My Tastes

2009-02-17T18:35:00.001-08:00

Lt. Col. Michael Strobl (ret)

Hear ye, hear ye!

This is the type of man I classify as my "type". I've noticed that I have a thing for military men, but I'm not a uniform chaser. It's something about the short hair (although I like long hair too) and the steely stare. I tend to like icy blue eyes and salt & pepper hair. I've always known that I am a big fan of facial symmetry - if I think a person's features aren't balanced, I'm so not into them. So this is it, the epitome of the look of the guy I like.

Lt. Colonel Michael Strobl escorted Chance Phelps, a fallen soldier back from Iraq in 2004 and wrote a moving account of his journey, to be an HBO movie premiering this Saturday with Kevin Bacon playing Strobl. I'm planning on watching because the movie itself looks interesting and Strobl will probably be in some kind of pre or post show. Lucky for me.

So, if you see somebody walking down the street who looks like him and he happens to be single, give 'em my handle, will ya?

Couldn't resist a uniform shot, who could? I mean really...

Another Valentine's Day Alone

2009-02-11T21:19:00.000-08:00

It's just another day, right? Another day when I will not get flowers or chocolates or diamonds. Well, I'd buy myself diamonds if I had some money. It's another night that I don't have to worry about making a reservation at an over priced, underwhelming restaurant. It's another night that I won't share my bed with a fantastic lover. Yup, it's one of those nights. A regular night; a standard night. It's a Saturday night. HBO will be my date and Cam my wing man.

It's just another day. Pass the popcorn.

Populism?

2009-02-01T09:45:00.000-08:00

Okay, I'm watching Meet the Press, I as do every Sunday and we're on the round table segment. The guests are Steve Forbes, Erin Burnett and Steve Zandi. After talking the stimulus plan and how to save the banking industry, they get to the hot topic of the week - the $18 billion on bonuses given out by Wall Street.

Okay.

All three - can they bother to have a liberal economic voices or don't we have any of those - make excuses for the bonuses. Main Street doesn't understand, see the money that the taxpayers gave them isn't the money used for the bonuses. Oh, see, one guy makes money, so even though the company as a whole lost money, shouldn't that one guy be compensated. Oh, it's a slippery slope and we don't want to start getting into telling companies what to do.

The hell we don't.

This is utter hogwash. The problem with our economy is that people are not thinking about the collective; they are simply thinking about themselves. Surely, bonuses - and I don't care if they are a part of the salary structure - are given out if the company does well as a whole. Period. In fact, think of bonuses like a collective commission - no money, no bonus. They did not deserve this money. They lost money. I am sick and tired of the apologists for these gamblers and that's just what the stock market and banking is today, a fucking bet. A bet that they lost and gives us all nightmares.

You go Claire McCaskill!!!!

Hear Ye, Hear Ye!!!

2009-01-27T20:36:00.000-08:00

I don't wanna ever even look sideways at any man who says, "I wanna...(insert some perfectly doable thing that this particular man will somehow find impossible, after many protestations of course)".

Uh huh.

Think about it. There is a difference between someone who says, "I want to...", "I will...." or "I'd like to..." Somehow people who use those declaratives actually do a few of the things that swirl around in their heads.

But the I Wannas? Not so much. Somehow, planning becomes an impossible task; making allowances for the thing that they "wanna do", a grave inconvenience. For them, I find actually thinking, planning and acting accordingly for their want, hurts their minuscule minds. Or perhaps they think that simply wanting something is enough. Or just voicing the want is sufficient.

However, they obviously aren't taking into account someone like me. When I hear, "I wanna..." I expect you to do some shit to make whatever happen - whether it be painting a room, fixing the car or getting that ever elusive degree. I mean, are they saying that shit to make me think they're big thinkers? Or do they hope that whoever happens to be standing around when they make their pronouncement will find them big thinkers or exciting personalities? I'm the first one to tell you that voicing an intention is the first step to making it happen, but please, actually have the intention behind the words.

So, I want this: from this moment on, only men who will do something positive and loving. And have the intent behind the wish.

Pass it on.

In Case You Missed It....

2009-01-25T00:44:00.000-08:00

The L Word is Back and Trace is Scared

2009-01-19T20:44:00.000-08:00

"Girl, did you know that lesbians look like us - or maybe we look like lesbians? They're wearing make up and everything! All dressed up."

So said Trace this morning, telling me about her adventure at a premiere party for Showtime's The L Word. I used to be a big L Word fan, but it got all weird, so I marginally follow it now. Haven't watched the premiere from last night yet.

"I know Trace. That's why my mom keeps telling you to wear makeup. People think we're lesbians."

"They do, huh? Oh my gawd girl. Here I am, living with Diana all these years.... People think we're a couple and won't admit it."

"Yup." head nodding.

"But Diana's not even my type, if I were a lesbian... I would never be with her.... I'd be with a president of a company or something...."

"Uh huh girl, you sure would."

"There's so many of them... What do I know, I hang with cute gay guys..."

"Well, think of it this way, the more lesbians, the more men for us."

"Yeah. Who knew?"

Everybody but Trace, I'm afraid.

Books I Added to My Library

2009-01-19T20:39:00.000-08:00

Fione Man of the Month

2009-01-15T21:10:00.000-08:00

Barry Pepper

I think I first noticed him in The Green Mile. He's been in loads since, mostly confusing folks - as he looks a tad like a young, better looking Gary Busey. But Busey he's not. Most recently, he was in Seven Pounds as Wil Smith's best friend married to a BW. You know how much I love that! Yup, he's a cutie.

Put him in more stuff, quick! SAG strike or no!

Facebook

2009-01-13T19:15:00.001-08:00

Am I the only person under 41 who is not on Facebook? One of my oldest and dearest friends, we were roommates in Israel, called and told me that there's been a bit of a reunion from our group mates on Facebook. Loads of us are on there.

Except me.

Well, technically, I just deactivated the darn thing cause I thought it was boring. And don't tell me that was just because I didn't have any friends.

But, today, I got an email from one of my schoolmates and I'm impressed. She found the blog on her own. So....

Perhaps I'm not as anonymous as I thought. And maybe I shouldn't be.

Facebook here I come?

Can a MySpace page be far behind?

Vision of 2009

2009-01-10T20:16:00.000-08:00

If my life were a reality show, and you were watching, quite frankly, you'd be bored out of your fucking mind. We talked about that as we assembled our vision boards this afternoon. You know, get a few women together, give them some alcohol and good food and the conversation ensues. The good conversation that is. We sat at Best Friend's loft, cutting out images of the life we envision for ourselves, talking about life. Talking about men. Talking about what the hell we think ya'll want; talking about all the shit we've done wrong, about all the shit we know we're still going to do (if he can't ask for your time at least three days in advance ladies, politely say, "not tonight," please). We talked about weight. About children. About money.

Oh, did we talk about money.

Who has it. Who should. Who doesn't.

Mostly, the who doesn't was us.

We talked about self help books (a list of the past thirty years found in one of the magazines). Sad part? I was the lone participant who'd read 80 percent of the books.

"Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus"? Me. "The Road Less Traveled", "The Rules", "The Secret", "He's Just Not That Into You"?

Yup and more. Can't even remember them all. But I've read 'em. What does that say about me? Read all the popular self help books and I'm still a mess. Sheesh.

Okay, I'm not really a mess, but it looks good on a computer screen. But I am alone. I am without my life partner. I am facing the hardships of today alone.

Well, I'm with this shot of tequila. That's not exactly alone, now is it?

Oh god, I'm starting to sound like a functional alcoholic. But I know I'm not one. But I can wonder as I watch the new season of The Bachelor. Can ABC please find different looking women? God, all these women look alike. What is up with that? And this guy -- whatever his name is (can't be that dreamy, can't remember the dude's name), has a three year old son. I have a four year old son, and let me tell you, I'd be hard pressed to expose him to the rigors and crazies of network television, no matter how much the audience is shrinking. I don't know whether to throw up or just go to sleep.

And dream.

Lately I have been easily forgetting Mr. Casablanca. That ship has sailed. I am ready to move on, I tell myself. And then, sitting there, sipping wine, finished with my very optimistic and specific vision board, I see his face. As I talk about the reintroduction of the gentleman, I feel his presence. I remember my yearning and my hunger. I remember my broken heart. And then I forget myself - the span of my hips and the curve of my belly; I forget that I am free of makeup but full of dreams. He's just not that into me. I must confess.

Should I join Match.com? Should I try harder? Smile quicker? Hold that stare?

Probably.

And I should continue to dream and shelf this weird ass obsession with The Bachelor. That's Hollywood but I'm actually in Hollywood. I am real; they are hoping for something that probably isn't. And never could be.

Welcome passion. Welcome high life. Welcome love.

It's 2009 and I'm ready.

And Another Thing

2008-12-29T09:33:00.000-08:00

Days go by so fast - and mostly, I just lay in bed, dreaming them away. But I do catch one or two things here and there. Recently, the brouhaha about Caroline Kennedy wanting to be the next senator from New York and Obama's selection of Rick Warren to do the invocation have given me more than a laugh.

The Rick Warren thing is a little more substantive to me. Mostly because I voted no on Prop 8 and think that gays should be allowed to marry. I find positions that demonize gays flat out wrong. But I think Obama's choice of Warren was a stroke of genius. I do not disagree with it at all. I think it is turning the other cheek in a reverse way. His choice of Warren is a big slap in the face to the right wing of this country. It is not a present or an implicit agreement to their views. It is showing them that we can be/are bigger. What has been the biggest problem with the Bush administration? Ignoring half of the country, that's what. W would never have given an equivalent liberal pastor the same courtesy. What's that courtesy? The courtesy of acknowledgment. I know that many on the left don't see it that way; they want blood. But Obama has told you from the beginning who he is. He wants to highlight our commonalities and not our differences. Might it occur to anyone what Warren might be the one who sees the light? Who changes his opinions and therefore influences those in his flock?

Be not angry. There is method to Obama's madness.

On Caroline Kennedy. What's wrong with her? These Clinton apologists need to quit. There are no qualifications for being a senator other than citizenship and age. She fits both. Get over it.

A black bird got into our house yesterday. We're not sure, but we think it came through the chimney. I'm hoping that the only omen there is that I need to have the chimney serviced. But one never knows, does one?

The Christmas Carol I Wish I Could Sing...

2008-12-19T21:25:00.000-08:00

Saying Goodbye

2008-12-16T20:38:00.000-08:00

I haven't felt too creative these days. I guess you could say that's happening a lot to me lately. But this time, I promise, I have good reason. That picture below -- of me and my girls? These days, there are just two of us. Yeah, the economy really does suck the big one. I lost my assistant. I'm sure she's doing just fine - happy to be without the pressures of a place that she really didn't care much for. It's me that I'm feeling sorry for - oh, and skinny gal. We're the ones left behind to scramble and hustle.

But we have to care about the work, right? I mean, we could be without a job in the blink of an eye. So be happy.

Take it. Smile. Don't complain.

I'm very tired, but can't sleep much. Guess you call that worry. Stress. And we know what stress does to me.

Don't get me wrong, I am very happy to have a job - heck, have my career. But I am tired and annoyed and mad, all at the same time. I look over at my little love and I sigh.

It's all good.

Isn't it?

Yeah, it is.

Me & My Girls

2008-11-25T20:46:00.000-08:00

Ndel takes home an industry award. It's fun to beam with the gals - Skinny & Lanky.

Fione Series of the Year

2008-11-25T20:14:00.000-08:00

True Blood

Okay, when's the last TV show that had so many fione men on it - Lost? Well, move on over, the HBO series True Blood has many hot, hot mens! It's raining men. Hallelujah!

Alexander Skarsgard

A tall (6'4") Swede! Son of actor Stellan Skarsgard, he's foine. Can't wait to see more of him - I might even catch Generation Kill.

Stephen Moyer

A Brit who actually looks better outside of the series. I don't recall seeing him before, but I look forward to seeing him again.

Sam Trammell

He's such a cutie - another unfamiliar face, but I like that. New things to see!

Ryan Kwanten

An Aussie - ain't seen him either, but man, you gotta check out the body on this one!

Nelsan Ellis

Oh, he's so cute and great as Lafayette; I could think about becoming a fag hag for him!

The sad news is that Sunday was the season finale - be sure you catch it in reruns. I think you'll find it captivating.

Trust me.

Now THAT'S a Smart, Sexy, Sassy Lady!

2008-11-24T19:48:00.000-08:00

When someone thinks you know something (even if your answer is wrong) and is impressed by that answer, shouldn't you get the benefit of a royally fabulous fuck?

I mean, with your (supposed) right answer instantly makes you smart, right?

And smart makes you sexy, right? At least that's what all the men tell those survey takers.

And smart + sexy = sassy, right? I mean, if you're smart enough to know you're sexy and actually think you're sexy, that's sexy.

So, do I tell Mr. Casablanca that, in spite of all of the aversion, the pretense, the denials and the regrets -- he's got to admit this:

I'm a smart, sexy, sassy woman and he's the one who's losing out.

If I can admire his familiarity with Black History, he can admire my familiarity with world geography and American lit.

Is sex with a smart person better than sex with a skinny one? By that measure, I guess sexy is better with a smart, skinny person.

Maybe.

Guess it all depends on who's doing the grading.

Call me Ishmael.

The Pictures I'd Take!

2008-11-10T19:14:00.000-08:00

I like that digital cameras are so easy to use. I don't like that most pictures I take with my digital camera go into the digital pictures black hole. Most of those things will never see the light of day. Before I got my upgraded Blackberry, I kept thinking every time I saw something interesting on the street, "I wish I had a camera phone; that'd be cool to post on the blog!" Like the time I saw a fairly done up lady pushing herself in a wheelchair in spiked heels. I sat here trying to think of those other "I wish" moments, but they escape me at the moment.

Now that I have a camera phone, I've discovered that it's not very good. And it's slow. Oh, and everything in the frame must be absolutely still. Try that with an almost four year-old. So, I apologize upfront for the crappy quality of some of the pics. I'm presently waiting for my recharger so that the Nikon can take up permanent status as the digital camera of choice.

Regardless, I still see things that catch my photo eye.

I call this one, "If Buddha Had Big Hair"

Too Much TV

2008-11-07T20:16:00.000-08:00

Well, now that the campaign is finally over and not sucking all of the air out of the room - we can get to the new TV season. I am the first to admit that I am a junkie, always have been, always will be. I mean, the invention of the DVR is the best thing next to --- heck, sliced bread, for heaven's sake! I love that thing. I can go to sleep, since I'm so lazy. I can not miss shows when there's a conflict. I don't have to worry about specials. I'm so TV crazy that I want to get a Slingbox and a Slingcatcher.

Pretty cool gadgets. The Slingbox allows you to beam to multiple televisions as well as to be able to watch your own television, DVR or BluRay from your laptop anywhere in the world. The Slingcatcher allows you to take stuff of the Net and play it on your 50 inch plasma television. That means full length episodes on the network sites, YouTube, or films on demand from Netflix (yeah, member of that too). It also allows you to transmit your own photos or video to your television from your laptop. Cool huh?

So, I've kinda watched the new shows and three stand out for me.

Life On Mars

This one is another of those imports from Great Britain that seem to be so common these days. I never heard of it before this year, so I have nothing to compare it to, but I'm hooked on this one. I might venture out and try out the original, but for now, this will do. Oh yes, this will do. First of all, it stars the delicious Jason O'Mara, another cutie I've never heard of. Oh, we are talking future Fione Man of the Month fo' sure! Basic premise is modern day cop gets hit by a car and wakes up as himself in 1973 - no other explanation. He doesn't know why and neither do we. I like the premise, I like the actors - Harvey Keitel's first television role my gosh sake's! It's been losing against the weaker Eleventh Hour (yet another British import - theft?), I think it deserves a chance, so I urge you to check it out.

Thursdays on ABC @ 10 pm (set your DVR)

True Blood

Okay, I'm one of those who got fooled by the Tru Blood drink campaign of billboards and bustop benches perched around the city. Guess I haven't been reading the trades like I should. But this newest creation by Alan Ball had me at the first bite. It's about a slightly kooky, naive mind reader in Louisiana in a world where vampires have "come out of the coffin". Gee, I wonder what Mr. Ball's sexual orientation is? She falls for a sucker named Bill and all sorts of mayhem ensues. There's a really hot old vampire, another future FMoM, Alexander Skarsgard and shape shifters. I'm wondering when the werewolves and wizards will exercise their civil rights as well. Only three episodes left in the season, but HBO is really good at repeats.

Sundays on HBO @ 9pm

Fringe

I frequently watch things based on reviews in the LA Times. The Times gave this one the thumbs up, so I tuned into the premiere and was immediately hooked. They have some Austrian Cate Blanchett lookalike plays a FBI agent who gets assigned to a unit that investigates something they call "The Pattern". It's all very neo X-Files without being dark and creepy. Comic relief is provided by a kooky, brilliant scientist who worked on versions of the things they're investigating now and his son, played by Pacey, all grown up and looking kinda good. Isn't that convenient? And hey, why don't the bad guys (who we don't know) just kill him, he's helping the good guys (we think)?

Tuesdays on Fox @ 9pm

There are returning shows that are keeping my attention, thank goodness. Dexter is keeping it red. Great third season and Jimmy Smits isn't even getting on my nerves! The Sarah Silverman Program. She's crazy and crass, but I love her. I'm looking forward to the return of Flight of the Conchords too; can't come soon enough.

Shows that are quickly losing my attention:

Heroes (huh?)

Grey's Anatomy (how many times can they sleep with each other?)

Ugly Betty (for being so ugly, she sure does get a lot of guys interested in her)

Law & Order SVU (ho hum)

Samantha Who? (who cares?)

Lincoln Heights (how many times can they be held at gunpoint before they get the "point" and move?)

Pushing Daisies (if they can never touch, what am I watching for?)

Shows that have already lost their slot on the DVR timer:

Sexy Dirty Money (I'm broke; they should be too)

Private Practice (no chemistry and too much medical drama; haven't these people heard of hospitals?)

The New Adventures of Old Christine (the only CBS show I've watched in years)

Life (law enforement zen taken a bit too far)

Beverly Hills 90210 (you know I couldn't resist checking this out at least a couple of times!)

Californication (bed hopping that got boring? you betcha)

Well, now I can go back to being mindless and writing more posts. Thank goodness I can do step aerobics on the Wii Fit while I watch either TV or the DVR.

Change is gonna come.

High Definition

2008-11-04T22:59:00.000-08:00

Victory is so sweet, especially in high definition.

Actually, it's my theory that CNN has been winning the cable ratings war because they broadcast in high def.

As I said to Mr. Casablanca, "why would you watch it any other way," after he chided me for advertising my 50 incher to watch CNN in high def tonight. I'll post pictures of us hanging out, crying and screaming later.

Focus

2008-11-04T22:54:00.000-08:00

A black president.

Oh my.

I was actually impressed with McCain's concession speech. It was the best of the campaign. Too bad the campaign is over.

Is it me or does the world feel different? More at peace? More possibilities?

Somehow I don't think so.

It's Done

2008-11-04T20:17:00.000-08:00

Has to be one of the happiest day of my life, after the birth of my son. Amazing. Amazing.

Ladies and Gentlement, the President of the United States of America

2008-11-04T18:47:00.000-08:00

When they called Ohio, it was over. Just waiting for the call for 270...

I Could Do It

2008-10-22T19:26:00.000-07:00

I don't feel so mad about the revelation that the RNC spent around $150k on clothes for the Palin clan. Heck, I could spend that amount just on myself. For instance, check out this suit that I would find myself in daily, if I could afford it:

Dior jacket - $1,990

Dior skirt - $790

Wolford tights - $58

Dior tote - $1,400

Dior booties - $790

Total - $5,028

See how easy it is? No problem for me to spend up that $150k.... Maybe I oughta think about running for office. With my flawed background and questionable allegiances, being all liberal, I think I'd be a shoe in.

But, I'd definitely have to keep the clothes after I lost.

For sure.

Fione Man of the Month

2008-10-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

Ari Melber

He caught my eye the other day online; it was an exchange that I initially missed, but lemme tell ya, I'll be looking out for him in the future! Smart, articulate and fione???? Oh, a girl can't ask for much more - except maybe boatlods of money!

Ari is the Net movement correspondent for The Nation magazine, the oldest political weekly in America, a writer for The Nation’s campaign blog and a columnist for Politico. He is currently traveling with the Obama Campaign for The Washington Independent, and a contributing editor at the Personal Democracy Forum, a nonpartisan website covering technology’s impact on democracy.

Check him out in action:

Been to Heck & Back

2008-10-19T12:07:00.000-07:00

"Should I give up or should I just keep chasing pavements? Even if it leads nowhere?"

-Adele

I have no substantive update on Mr. Casablanca, other than I have laid eyes on him and exchanged a few words. Can I say that his smile is magical? The inquisitive tilt of his head and the laughing sparkle of his eyes roped me in again. I guess you could say that I am still smitten. Nope, not much has changed at all.

Well, except that I'm going to keep saying it, Barack Obama is the next President of the United States. Vote. Vote. Vote. Those down ticket races need it!!!!!

Oh, and I have finally decided on a new Fione Man of the Month. Although, I think that he's going to really be the Fione Man of the Quarter. What's up with fabulous men? Where the heck are they????

More later...

If I don't get a coughing fit in the meantime....

Black Power

2008-10-11T23:04:00.001-07:00

Where have I been? Nowhere special, believe me. I've been sick - oh that cough. And I've been to the shelter. Never get dog or cat from anywhere other than your local shelter. James and Emily - Cam named them for tank engines on Thomas the Tank Engine TV show. They are so sweet and I've needed that this past week. You'd think, me all alone, okay not alone, Cam has been sick too; but still, laying on my ass - I should have written something. All I could do is read about the election. Oh, the election.

Barack Obama will be the next president of the United States; I promise.

Other than that, I just watched both "Mr. Smith Goes to Washington" and "Citizen Kane" for the first time. I liked CK more than MSGTW - even though I'm a big Frank Capra fan. "It Happened One Night" is one of my faves.

I'm here and announcing that Mr. Casablanca is back -- I'll have more later this week; I hope.

Oh Yeah, Fey It

2008-10-05T07:36:00.000-07:00

Auto Me

2008-09-11T19:35:00.000-07:00

So, you wanna know where the heck I've been? Well, lemme tell ya, nowhere all good, that's where. I've been pretty run down, mostly distracted and not liking life a whole heck of a lot, but also really, really tired. It came to a head two weeks ago, with what started with (I thought) a bug bite. But you know that's not what it was, right?

After a week of suffering, it was confirmed that I had shingles. Yes, yucky, nasty, very painful shingles. Luckily for me, it was a very mild case of them. I had the devil's own elixir, steroids (sprayer) that really slowed the spread down and dried out the blisters. But, I was still infectious, so home I stayed. Oh man, shingles hurt - like acid on your skin.

Never any fun.

So, I suppose I could have been writing very creatively every day for your enjoyment, Dear Reader, or I could have rested and not thought about much but the Repuglicant convention. Okay, that's exactly what I ended up doing. I guess that I felt my blood pressure going sky high on a regular basis would be better for me.

Sarah Palin.

So, in order to feel even more patriotic than I already feel by supporting Obama.

I bought American. United States of American, that is. Ndel got herself a new auto-mo-bile. I got a Lincoln MKS, the newest and most technological luxury sedan available. It has all kinds of cool things, but the most cool is the SYNC system. It's super cool. I'm still learning how to use all of the features and take that long ride this weekend to ante up my MPG. It's gorgeous I tell ya, just gorgeous!

How Could I Not?

2008-08-31T21:03:00.000-07:00

Say something about the abysmal choice by John McSame of Gov. Sarah Palin?

Are you fucking kidding me?

What's In A Label?

2008-08-24T17:12:00.002-07:00

The other day, I was thinking about Jaime Cullum, a fabulous young artist who does kick ass covers of standards as well as his own original material. I've been a fan since I heard him on NPR a few years ago. Jaime's pretty awesome and I can't wait to finally see him in person - tearing up his piano on the stage. I happened to mention the talented twenty-something to a friend who remarked, "isn't he on.....?" some label. I had to admit that I indeed, had no idea from what label the two albums of his I own were minted. As a matter of fact, when I thought about it, I had no idea on what labels artists in my own iPod released their albums under. It occurred to me that record companies have lost their identity and therefore, their relevance.

Just think, remember back in the day - the association between the artist and the label was strong. Remember record labels like this?

Or how about this?

I still have strong memories connected to the album, "Let It Be" that my Mom's friend, Jo had in her apartment in the Jungle. While they chatted away, talking about grown up stuff, I'd play the record over and over again. In my young mind, the Beatles were Apple and Apple was the Beatles.

And Aretha was Atlantic. Billy Joel was Columbia. Duran Duran was Capitol.

But today? Who the heck knows? What label is Beyonce on? Do I care? Not really. I could not care less if any of the labels goes under. They don't seem to stand for anything - like Casablanca was disco central (does the Village People ring a bell?). Speaking of Casablanca, I saw Donna Summer in concert last night and she was great. She did a lot of oldies, including "Enough Is Enough", sans Barbra (a back up singer stepped in quite nicely). She also did a few cuts from her new album, Crayons, that were very nice. I especially liked the track, "Sand on my Feet".

In my mind, Donna is Casablanca and Casablanca is Donna. But that was Yesterday. On Apple. And remember, I love you just the way you were, Columbia.

Who's Fit? Wii's Fit!

2008-08-13T04:25:00.000-07:00

I'd like to say that I've been out climbing mountains, winning Olympic gold medals in swimming or saving the world from McCain, but alas, I have not been doing any of those things. What I have been doing is trying to carve out 1/2 hour a day to work out on my new Wii Fit. Oh, yes, I did get one for my birthday (thank you GF Tracy!) and I absolutely love it! I am the first to admit that I am zero on the physical activity scale (and my belly, thighs, arms. legs - you get the idea - show it!). I'm not getting any younger you know, so something had to be done. And let me tell ya', that something was most definitely not going to happen in a gym or walking the mean streets of my neighborhood. So, Wii Fit comes to the rescue.

I can do not only aerobic exercise, but I can also yoga and most importantly for me, balance exercises that are helping my ankles (remember those things?) heal. I actually wish I had a Wii Fit near the beginning of the year, just as I was coming off of physical therapy; I think I'd be way ahead in the whole ankle strength area.

So, trust me, do yourself a favor and get one of these things - Cam even does some of the exercises with me. I'll try to get a picture of it one day. Only $90 folks - way cheaper than a gym membership and I dare say, much more fun as well!

On Presumption

2008-07-30T21:44:00.000-07:00

DRs, as you know, I've been totally obsessing on the presidential campaign, watching - in total Road to the White House, Hardball and Countdown via DVR. The latest buzz word is "presumptuous" - as in Obama is. Well, what do you know? As a BW, I hear "uppity negro". Yeah, right. I suppose that is what any successful person of color has heard over the course of their career. It's the "black tax" - we have to work harder, be smarter, think faster, be nicer, and look, well, nonthreatening while doing it. How on earth does one do all of those things and be "nonthreatening"? Change is always threatening; always - without question. Powers that be/are - hopefully going away, are scared that they will be gone, swept away by competence.

Yes, that's it - Obama is confident. He is capable. And smart. And fast. It is his job to convince us, The People, that he is ready on day one.

I think he's doing a fine job. Go head man!

As an uppity, presumptuous BW, I approve this message.

Just Because

2008-07-19T09:59:00.000-07:00

Thoughts on Thoughts

2008-07-19T07:36:00.000-07:00

They call me lazy.

Not actually, I call myself lazy. Gosh, am I tired these days. The last couple of weeks, I have been trying to figure out just why no urge to write; no urge to clean; no urge to do. Well, that's now true. I have been doing things. I have been going on little weekend jaunts (two cruises and two weekends in Palm Springs so far) and that's all I've been wanting to do - get away. In the spring, I thought I wanted a party to celebrate my 40th. Now, I'm totally off that idea. Parties don't sound fun to me. Okay, that's not totally true - if someone else would do the planning, the shopping, the cleaning and the paying, I'd be totally for one big, blowout. But, it's up to me - everybody is broke, including yours truly.

I have not wanted to date either. However, I have always wanted a cocktail. Okay, not really the issue - no obvious suspects on the horizon for that either. Doesn't matter - I am still in Mr. Casablanca space - no one quite lights the fire or the imagination. Is this me? Or is this normal? I'm not moping around - just not keyed in where other men is concerned. Now, that doesn't mean that I'm am blind - I sometimes see a fine specimen, but they are very few and very far in between. Should I lose weight - get down to a size 10? I mean, geesh, I would be a force to be reckoned with if I were thinner, right? Or, should I just be and try to find a man who would be happy with me thin or thick? I am perplexed by it all. I am not sure. Perhaps this indecision causes me to be in limbo.

I am a single mom. I don't have a lot of time. I work. I'm tired. Now, I know why my Mom wanted to sleep all the time when I was a kid. It's exhausting being a mother. It's also rewarding and exciting. Being a modern woman is great and confusing. It can also be somewhat of a letdown. It's a real good thing that it's an election year, I have something else to focus on.

Which brings me to the recent New Yorker cover of Barack and Michelle done up as a Muslim and a Black Panther fighter respectively. No, I'm not putting the image up. Now, I am not offended by the cover - I just don't think it's very good satire. And my reason is because the cartoon did not either amplify a truth or widely held impression nor it did contain conflicting images, such as a dogeared Bible, Jeremiah Wright on tape, a cruxific on the wall. Nope, it was not outlandish enough. You know why - some people actually believe the images portrayed. Yes, as ignorant as they are, these folk believe Michelle is a revolutionary and Barack is a closeted member of the mujahideen. In that case, the hyperbole quotient should have much higher than it was. Too bad the New Yorker lost an opportunity to really make a statement. But, I'm very sure that Management is happy with all of the attention. When was the last time the New Yorker was relevant?

So pony up. Give to Barack's campaign. This is our country, but the RNC is far ahead of the DNC in funds on hand, so if you've only got $20; give $10 to Barack and $10 to the DNC - eventually the money will be pooled, but the DNC can't be viewed as so far behind the RNC in fundraising. It's war and this time, we're gonna win!

I got a new Blackberry a couple of weeks ago. For some shiteous reason, my company switched to Nextel last year and gave us, what has to be the worst business pda ever - the 7100i. Not only did we have to contend with crappy Nextel service, it does not have a QWERTY keyboard, a camera or very good net surfing capabilities. After complaining, campaigning, cajoling, some of us got Verizon Curves. So, I got back to a classic Blackberry with a bonus - an integrated camera. Let's not complain that I actually purchased a new digital camera the week before. I figured that I will now be able to take random pictures and post them here. Nothing really funny yet, mostly just random shots, so I'll oblige to close out a weird weekend rant. Blood fortifier? Who knew?

Fione Man of the Month

2008-07-19T07:05:00.000-07:00

Chris Botti

I am mucho excited - on Wednesday I'm heading out to the Chris Botti & Orchestra show at the Hollywood Bowl. His special guest will be Cassandra Wilson, my favorite jazz singer. Not only is Mr. Botti very, very talented on the trumpet, my Dad's instrument, he is absolutely gorgeous. When I put him on for my Dad, he was mightily impressed - I didn't show him a picture of CB - he might have rethought his talented pronouncement. So, now that I'm grown, and I bought somewhat decent seats, I can look at Mr. Botti with abandon, not on the jumbo tron (note to self: just in case, bring/rent/steal/borrow some binoculars so you can ogle real close up).

Whenever I figure out how to add a clip of some of his music to the blog, I will! Viva Chris Botti - thanks for not being just a pretty face!

Breaking...

2008-07-13T20:15:00.000-07:00

Well, in case you didn't figure it out, there were no, I said no fione men on the cruise - taken or otherwise. It was so strange. And so frustrating. I almost wrote on the comment card (that was filled with a bunch of stuff), "get cuter men". I figured that would negate all of my previous, very valid complaints about the trip - you know, the lousy food, the insulting shows, the lack of enthusiasm from the crew... Valid stuff all around.

Skip Carnival - the trailers are practically pulled behind the ship.

Back to Royal Caribbean. I'm actually thinking of skipping a birthday party and just relaxing when I can. Call it the summer of me.

Tidbits

2008-07-01T22:16:00.000-07:00

Tracy and I are off to Mexico for another cruise this weekend - mostly to celebrate that birthday - yipee! I can't wait. I sure do hope that there are some fione men to be seen; the fewer clothes the better.

I am not a candidate for an open position in my company any longer; they pulled a dick cheney and chose one of the search committee to be the candidate. Oh well. I guess I can be better off staying with my gals, knowing my job and not having to work my fingers to the bones. I did get a new Blackberry -- with a camera, so I will be taking random pictures and posting them from now on.

No man compares to Mr. Casablanca so far in my eyes. It's actually quite annoying. There have got to be great guys out there, right?

I've consolidated, refinanced, paid off and budgeted. Why do I still feel broke?

My stomach and my thighs are not getting any smaller. But the good news is, neither are my tits.

I tried fried crickets today - insects really are the new protein you know. They weren't bad - quite good actually, especially when you hide them under raita, sweet & sour sauce as well as rice.

The sunlight brings me joy; as does the evening sky.

Trusting the loving universe doesn't sound like such a bad idea right at this moment.

Wonder Reintroduced

2008-07-01T21:36:00.000-07:00

I got the chance to go to the movies last week - and boy was I glad that our schedule got all mixed up, that we had to make a change in our choice of film. Godsister KK wanted to see Sex & the City after ten months in Ghana. (SATC isn't the only thing I'd want to see after ten months in Africa, that's all I've got to say...) I was surely up to it, being a SATC fan; although I was fine waiting until it debuted on HBO, like I do for most films. For her, SATC would be just fine on a warm Friday afternoon. Then we ran out of time and options to take care of Cam, so we had to pick something child-friendly -- his first movie in the theater.

We choose Wall-E.

Boy am I glad that we did.

I loved this film. I found it the perfect pitch of humor, romance, message, smarts and wonder - yes, wonder. Wonder is something quite missing from our lives today. How beautiful is a lighter bringing forward a yellow middle surrounded by a halo of blue? Do we recall the simplicity and perfection of a sapling? And yes, we can forget the beauty beyond our atmosphere - the Milky Way of stars and planets. But Wall-E brings it all to us in Pixar color!

It's the story of a robot who inhabits wonder; he finds beauty in the mundane and for us - the usual. Wall-E is sweet, smart and earnest. The character is so charming - so very likable, that you can't help but relate. When EVE shows up on our decimated planet, it's telling us something; technology, while beautiful, can be deadly.

The story? Earth dies, humans become fat consumers, earth regenerates. Robot gets robot. Oh, and cockroaches survive all. I'm happy to report that even Cam survived - only getting restless during the last ten minutes of the film. I'd say that's pretty good for an inaugural film for a three and a half year old, wouldn't you?

I have been telling everyone to see this film -- it is brilliant. No, it's awesome. Well, it's fantastic. Geesh, it's unforgettable. I am giving Wall-E the highest compliment and recommendation --

I would pay full price to see it again.

It Was My Birthday!!!!

2008-06-27T23:08:00.000-07:00

Dinner at Hatfield's with Tracy, KK, Lanky & Spermy (I'll explain in a later post...) this past Wednesday, June 25th, my 40th birthday. Guess what my wish was.....

Playgirls at the Playboy

2008-06-15T21:33:00.000-07:00

Yes, it's that time of year - the annual funfest that is the Playboy Jazz Festival at the Hollywood Bowl this past weekend. Again, it was fun, fun, fun. And, imagine that more IBMs (ideal black males) - yet, this time, we thought they were gay and I had just enough alcohol in me to ask the question. Talk about offended. Whew. Guess that's why I like the vanilla guys - they don't seem to get so upset about such drunken questions as this...

A few shots of Trace, Mike, Dan and I drinking, laughing, eating, and well, smiling....

Can't wait until next year!

Fione Man of the Month

2008-06-11T18:42:00.000-07:00

Russell Wong

This month, I am giving some love to the Asian brothers out there. And why not? My first crush in life was on Peter Chang in kindergarten! Let me not mention that it was because he reminded me of Bruce Lee... I'm not especially drawn to Asian men, what I am attracted to are handsome, sexy, smart men -- no matter the race or ethnicity. A lot of people don't know who Russell is, although, they've probably seen him in movies like The Joy Luck Club or Romeo Must Die. My favorite is the 80s indie, Eat a Bowl of Tea, a completely charming film not seen by nearly enough folk. Oh, and he has a half black daughter... Oh, you gotta love a man who is open to cross the racial line! Now ladies, give it up for Russell, he's most assuredly, an Asian God!

Many Mes

2008-06-09T20:08:00.000-07:00

Oh me oh my... such is life. Trace and I had a very nice time in Palm Springs at this fabulous spot we found - Hotel Zoso, with lovely rooms, appointed in a tasteful, modern manner with a 42 inch flat screen television. I also liked the pool table in the lobby and live jazz with Sunday breakfast (although not a traditional champagne brunch). As for (straight) man hunting - nada, zilch. Palm Springs is a cross between West Hollywood and Boca Raton. Oh, there were couples, who wants them? But no one I could sink my teeth in (literally).

As I wrote last week, we're also going on another cruise over the 4th of July holiday weekend. This time, we're going to try Carnival for the party factor. As I told my work buddy Chris today - at least I have a life; it involves alcohol, dancing and the opposite sex. Just barely though. The cruise was full of men - none of them keepable or even memorable. They were eye candy - there for the cougar taking (get it, I will officially be a cougar on the 25th of this month). I will be spending the next few weeks increasing the animal print and denim components of my wardrobe. Hey, a girl, err, a woman's gotta be ready, right?

Oh, lovely torsos and pecs and six packs... But what is up with men shaving their chest hair? It's also fascinating to see how many men have tattoos, especially Asian lettering - who knows what it really says? Could be anything. Oh, and piercings. I can't say I'm much of a fan. I'm such a commitmentphobe, any changes I make are temporary (wigs, contacts - but the tits? buddy, you can bet they're real). And now I can say I've loosely (what a way with words I have) *experienced* a man with a tongue piercing and all I can say is, "what's the big deal?" It's not something I'll seek out in the future, but, I won't turn them away either...

Trace is very happy that I'm back - finally out of the romantic cave that was Mr. Casablanca. And I have to admit, the last couple of weeks I was feeling very single and ready to mingle. Yet, alas, this weekend I found myself thinking of him often. I decided to be okay with this crush revisiting me -- anything to bring a smile. And if anything, MC brings a smile to my face -- every time.

This weekend, it's the Playboy Jazz Festival, always a day of fun. I do apologize for not having pictures of my oh-so-exciting life -- my digital camera is broken and I need a new one. Believe you me, it's on my list of birthday wishes -- along with a Wii Fit.

A Few Thoughts

2008-06-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

I'm resting up, so just a few thoughts:

OBAMA IS THE DEMOCRATIC NOMINEE FOR PRESIDENT!!!

Ladies and gentlemen, he will be the next president of the United States.

Wow.

On the cruise - we've already booked the next one for the 4th of July weekend. I expect that one to be even more fun, although it's just gonna be me and Tracy and not a foursome. I got some jewelry. I'm just drying out, so give me a minute to rest up!

Cheerio!

Cruise Me

2008-05-29T20:39:00.000-07:00

Hey all - I am off for my first cruise tomorrow. I'm so excited. Hopefully, I'll have lotsa good stories to share upon my return.

Have a great weekend!

Poetry Monday

2008-05-26T09:32:00.001-07:00

POWER

Without joining it all,
Without actually grasping the essence,
I touched the appex;
Forwent
the grades
the rules
the gains.

I reached out and melted the atom
toppled the Great Wall
rid the earth of roaches
cured all diseases
And righted the wrongs of the human race.

I penetrated Fort Knox
ended Apartheid
stopped the wars
healed the scars.
And eradicated hunger and poverty.

I solved the Mid East crisis
brought the world powers to their knees
balanced the budget
Even paid off the National Debt.

I reunited the cells
spoke with the dolphins
Ah, yes
I even sold more soda than Coca Cola.

I did it all
When I pressed the button.

02/18/86
revised: 11/05/93

Still Smarting

2008-05-26T09:03:00.000-07:00

A particularly articulate and eloquent comment on Talking Points Memo inspired me to the following response:

Thank you so very much for putting in words exactly what I've been feelingand thinking these last few days. Fear is not my friend, and unfortunately, fear has been sitting next to me since I heard these words spoken by someone seeking the highest office in the land. I beat it back, asking for my real friend, Hope, to come back, sit on my shoulder and encourage me further. Sometimes Hope answers my call and yet, fear returns when I happen to see or read the apologists or just plain lugheaded pundits describe these daggers as a "gaffe" or "poor choice of words". There were not, are not and will never be such misnomers. She voiced fear and now it is here and won't go away anytime soon. At least not until many years have passed, Obama is an elder statesmen, advising future progressive candidates on his very successful eight years in the White House and all the good works after. No, she has marred our collective moment of hope after so many years of cynicisim, of despair, of anger... Hillary Rodham Clinton should be ashamed of herself. She needs a come to Jesus, Buddha, Whatever moment NOW. She is done. Take her out. Put her out. She makes me ashamed of my sex, my country and my species.

What Could Have Been

2008-05-25T14:22:00.000-07:00

Okay, I'm finally sitting down to watch Casino Royale with Daniel Craig making his inaugural appearance as Mr. Bond. Now, I am a HUGE Clive Owen fan and thought he should have assumed the mantle. Plenty of folks told me I was wrong, especially after seeing the finished product. But, while Craig is more than serviceable in the role, I cannot help but notice the my man Clive would have been better.

Yeah, I know I shouldn't rant against casting decisions already made, but as I'm thinking of who should be my next Fione Man of the Month, I'm just soo very upset that I've already named Clive!!!

If they just listed to me, all would be fine, I'm sure of it.

Middle Movement or End Game?

2008-05-24T23:43:00.001-07:00

Responses can be so unsavory, so unwanted, so hurtful.

[Ndel],
I am sorry but I have started seeing someone. I waited to write you back because I wanted to see how the weekend went with her. We went to Palm Springs and had a good time. I am going to give her a try and see how things go. If she becomes a crazy bitch I will be sure to contact you:)

Take Care,
[MC]

Funny enough, I smiled as I shared this response with Skinny Gal. She got all excited and thought for sure that he and I were headed to date city. I can't even tell you how relieved I was after I read it. Not that I read it carefully. I skipped over the sentence on his waiting until after their weekend... Hey, a girl's gotta hold on to something, right? I responded:

Well, I'm glad to see that you're at least taking care of yourself a little bit ;-) Be positive -- why on earth would you bother with someone who could devolve into a beotch, right? You've got better taste than that! Know that it's still official - you're not to be a stranger – seeing someone or not.

[Ndel]

PS You're darn right, if it doesn't work out (not that I'm jinxing ya), but you really should call me. Oh - and you really don't know anyone
to fix [Skinny Gal] up with??????

I'm not waiting around for that obviously written in the stars romance to end. I'm actively looking for cocktails to imbibe and clothes to wear. It's all about the Ndel now.

UPDATE: Chasing the Dream

2008-05-24T23:12:00.000-07:00

Responses to rarely received emails are hard to do, but I did it -- yes, I did right away (although I'm not telling you about it DR until two weeks later)! I had issues with formatting here on Blogspot, so this post sat, half done for four days. Now, I know you've stopped your oh-so exciting life waiting for an update on what passes for romance between myself and MC. And here you are - the first shot in my last salvo to see if he is indeed The One:

Hey [MC],

First and foremost, how are you doing? I don't imagine you're taking real good care of yourself, but still... I just left you a voicemail - basically saying that I was planning on giving you a call to check in, precisely because we hadn't talked in a while. I hope after all this time that you know me and that I didn't take any offense. If anything, I thought perhaps I had over shot my wad, so I thought it was best to leave you to do what you - do - work on elevators. Where were they going to move you - the job near your house? At least you don't have to see or talk to Joe that much anymore, right?

It is my pleasure to make sure that all the regular workers at my building feel welcome and part of the team. Plus, it helps that you guys are cool.

I haven't talked to Jason yet; actually haven't seen him at all. He's busy working away I guess! So, the good news is that now we don't have to be all professional like and stuff... We can tell inappropriate jokes and make fun of each other's pet peeves. So let's laugh, okay? But, if you don't laugh at the attached, you have serious issues that we'll have to take up over a dinner of really good meat. Well, even if you do laugh...

Don't be daft; that's right, I'm asking you out on a real, live d-a-t-e. Right here and right now. Pull out your calendar.

What Saturday night are you free? Don't volunteer to work and don't plan a trip. I would've done this when I called - that is, if you had picked up. Heck, I would have done it way back when you flirted and I gave you that blank stare; I felt I had to maintain some semblance of professionalism. Not to mention, I'm a lousy flirt. However the river flows, I consider you someone I'm very happy to know. It's official - you are not to be a stranger!!!!

Warmly,
[Ndel]

PS Do you like Cheap Trick or the Beatles?

Calling Me On

2008-05-24T22:47:00.000-07:00

I caught "The Matchmaker" the other night and saw that this song that I've been looking forever was on the soundtrack. I'm really glad I found it. I had no idea it's by Robbie Williams, an artist I really like. Who knows who's the one?

I am sooooo mad

2008-05-24T13:27:00.000-07:00

Just a few words before I catch a nap - I will have an update on Mr. Casablanca this weekend. Right now, I am so pissed at Hillary Clinton for her remarks yesterday that I've been beside myself. If you haven't seen Keith Olbermann's special comment, you really should:

She should withdraw NOW!

BREAKING NEWS - The First Goodbye

2008-05-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

I'm shocked I tell ya, just shocked. This morning I opened up my email box to find a note from Mr. Casablanca. Yup, he's baaaack! He's back, telling me that he's now gone. He's no longer at my building, off to another job quite far away. In his email, he writes that he knows we hadn't talked in a while, but he hoped it was not him. In fact, it was him or rather, how I interpreted him. I was sure he was not interested, so I decided to shut down and withdraw gracefully (something Hillary could learn a thing or two about). I wasn't mean or difficult - not even distant - I simply did not call or seek him out. Simple enough - I had to save my sanity. When I did give him a ring just to "check in" as we used to call it, I asked how he was doing and he said he had not been feeling well lately; he'd been to the doctor and even he could not really tell him what was wrong. He was going to have some tests done.

Chest pains - something to send a chill down a gal's back. I wasn't terribly worried; but that's not to say that I wasn't worried at all.

Then again, I'm always worried about something or other.

Back to the email. He thanked me for my professionalism and creating a good work environment for he and his crew, wished me luck and closed with, "take care" and his first and last name.

What would you make of this kind of note? Does it mean bubye -cya or "hey, I'm open to something more"? I can't tell for the life of me. BF says no matter what, looks like he wants to clear up something with me. She wasn't sure that I shouldn't break my neck diving for the cell in order to call and ask him out or just let it go. For now, she's on the ask him out side; I'll always wonder "what if". At this moment, I'm in that camp too. I've spent the last month or so cleansing myself of the thought of him. If there ever was the chance of a fairly clean rejection acceptance phase, now would be the time.

I haven't dialed the digits yet. What, DRs, do you suggest I do?

Poetry Sunday - Happy Mother's Day

2008-05-11T08:37:00.000-07:00

SHE REMINDS ME

She reminds
me
of a lovely siren
singing

She reminds
me
of a greek goddess
performing miracles

She reminds
me
of a friend

A friend so special
She stands by me
So special
She helps me
So special
She's my mother...

03/18/81

May 2nd - LoveBabz - No, LOVE Babz!

2008-04-29T18:39:00.000-07:00

There is nowhere to hide. The time is growing short. May 2nd will be here before you can blink an eye. I don't know why I was hiding in the first place. Okay, that's not exactly true. I had been formulating in my head what the heck I was going to write in honor of Lovebabz's birthday. Writing on demand has eluded me for years now - probably the main reason why I did not pursue writing as a career. Perhaps I got myself into a tizzy unnecessarily.

In short, no poetry for you.

No, I think my poetry is sappy and Babz is anything but sappy. Is it possible to admire someone you've only read on the Net? Rhetorical question - because I know that the answer is yes. As I read Babz's blog each day, I learn more and more about the amazing human being she is. I found Babz on Blogher.com and to be truthful, she's the only one I found that I stuck with. Her story, her life, her thoughts give me just a little more appreciation each day.

We all have our stories; we have our tears, our triumphs and our tribulations. What makes a person especially special is when they rise above and manage to communicate that otherworldly sense of acceptance -- zen to others. Babz does this -- she reminds me that each day is a gift and that love, yes love is our highest goal. We can forgive. We can rise above. We can see the lesson in the bad. Babz reminds me each and every day to think of my son, my family, my world; to take a deep breath and face life with a smile. How ironic that each day she gives me a gift. Our hearts only mean something when given to others.

Bless this day of your birth Babz. And bless you.

Let's End the Bitterness

2008-04-12T11:39:00.001-07:00

Okay, this is ridiculous -- Senators Clinton & McCain are drumming up a whole lotta nothing about Obama's remarks about people in the rust belt being bitter and turning to religion or guns or whatever, because they no longer believe that the government serves their interest. Truth to power? Yes.

He further clarifies his comments today:

We, as a people must take back our government. Let's start by electing a once in lifetime politician, Barack Hussein Obama.

Sign the Another Bitter Hoper for Obama petition right now!

Flashback Video

2008-04-11T20:34:00.000-07:00

Ah, the beauty, the beat, the bodies... Take a walk down memory lane...

Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places

2008-04-08T20:19:00.000-07:00

Anyone watching this cycle of The Bachelor? I tuned in because the bachelor this year is Matt from London. And do I have tell you how much I love accents? And London? And dreamy men?

Didn't think so.

Ain't he a cutie?

I've watched the series off and on but stopped about three years ago because the cast of characters never seemed to change. I started watching in the first place to cheer on the BW (if there was one) of the group. And don't think it's escaped me that there has only been one Latina (who won the guy, I might remind you) and no - yes no Asian past the first round. Now I know there have got to be a lot more of our yellow sistahs that want to get in on the white boy action. Usually, the black sistah is gone by round three at the latest, but this cycle has the token still around. Now, don't get your hopes up -- apparently she has a big blow out with the other gals (gawd, could they cast more typical white chicks puhleese!) next week. I expect her to be gone baby gone.

As Cam would say, "no rose for you!"

Now, you know where I'm going with this.... Why are the BW on "typical" reality TV generally portrayed as angry, attitude filled shrews? I won't even go into the Flava of Love and I Love New York shows... Oh. My. God. Could producers please get out of their little minds and find some women of color that are diverse? I'm probably asking too much, considering the WW they pick for these things are pretty standardized (rather than "standard"). I know that the aim of these shows is ratings and advertising revenue, but did it occur to them that actually picking a cross section of eligible ladies with different personalities and cultural backgrounds with looks might actually appeal more to the viewing audience?

I have a radical suggestion - why not a Bachelor cycle with a guy who likes women who don't look like Barbie dolls?

I have not lost my mind.

Although you and I both know that no network would touch it, except maybe Fox, but they'd do it as a joke reality show along the lines of that stinker from a few years ago, "My Obnoxious Fiancee" or some such other nonsense. No, I propose that the guy be in the veins of the other bachelors - relatively good looking, successful, funny with a bit of personality - the proverbial good catch. And the bachelorettes - skinny, curvy, chubby and plus size. Is it possible that weightism really is the last acceptable prejudice in our society? I imagine they (the producers) would say something like, "no one wants to see fat girls looking for love" or "what will we do about the hot tub scenes?" (hint, just start shooting after everybody's in). But if they bothered to take into account the expanding waist lines of most women in the US, they'd find out that it's 14 and not 6. And they would maybe see the logic of having real women looking for love. I'd certainly be more apt to loyally tune in if there were a better cross section of women vying for the bachelor's love. Someone like me.

It's probably just a pipe dream - but right now, dreams are all I have. That and a vibrator.

Pssst.... Do Something!

2008-04-04T22:07:00.000-07:00

Hairy Scary

2008-04-03T10:25:00.000-07:00

Today, Sistah-Gurlfriend Angelista breaks it down on BW hair. To cut or not? To perm or not? To extension or not? To wig or not? Take your pic DR. Being a BW is hard, expensive and painful work. Beauty is pain, right?

Angelista asks should I cut my hair? Well, I did it ten years ago and have never looked back (except in the occasional dream where my hair grows luxuriously long over night). I save so much money and time (SuperCuts & Fantastic Sam's are a short haired girl's best friend!). And, big plus here, I don't care if it's raining or foggy outside. I simply walk right into. As a matter of fact, sometimes I purposely go without a hat, just so I can have the rain and wind in my face -- and without a care in the world, except maybe catching a cold.

However, I will admit that many men have a difficult time accepting short haired ladies. Whatever... Can stop to wait for those babies to grow up, now can we?

After about three years of hair liberation, I discovered wigs. Yes, WIGS. BW and WW wore them all in the time in the 60s & early 70s. I have blond ones, brown ones, black ones, long ones, short ones and medium ones. I adore it. I can change my look at the drop of a hat.... literally. I actually can grow a mane of whatever color hair I wish in the span of 30 seconds. And the best part? The cost! The new synthetic wigs run anywhere from $30-$65 and with care, can last about a year or so. I call that recession-proof thinking; when you don't have money for the beauty parlor, just reach on that closet and whip out, voila, a stunning look for whatever challenge the day holds.

So, I say ladies, free yourself from the tyranny of the hair care industry. Cut it off and give yourself choices!

Here I am today - sporting one of my newest acquisitions - one that even MC commented on. Whaddya think?

Fione Man of the Month

2008-03-21T20:07:00.000-07:00

Brad Pitt

After all that searching and thinking, it became clear to me today that Mr. Pitt is my Fione Man of not only this month, but perhaps even for the year. News hit today that he along with Angelina Jolie had given over $8 million dollars to charity last year. Now, I'm the first to say that I was always on Team Brangelina. Jen didn't want to have kids and Brad did. Now, hey, they're gonna six kids after Angelina gives birth to the twins. See, he wanted kids! And they give back. Talk about putting your money where your mouth is!

Ten shout outs and lotsa love to the glamour couple who is giving glamour couples a good name.

And, as an aside, he's kinda FIONE!

UPDATE 4: The Pictures

2008-03-16T20:28:00.000-07:00

Ah, okay... we got sidetracked into putting window film up. I completely forgot about the pictures of me a la roman. Since I'm lazy, I probably won't get to it until next weekend - and I'll post some from our dinner at Roy's ($35 for three courses!) Saturday night and perhaps even a blind date with Maneli before we meet up with everybody for dinner. Or after. How'd that come up, you ask? Well, Maneli, recently getting over the ex-boyfriend who officially broke up with her on her birthday last year, found the site and asked me to do one of the foursome blind dates with her. I'm down. I'm cool. I'm hip. All da men want my phone number... New wig for that one too. Ah, I better start looking for a babysitter now!

UPDATE 3: Toga Party

2008-03-16T08:43:00.001-07:00

DRs ~~

I'm very sorry to report that after all that sturm und drang - I ended up not going to the party! Before the arrows start flying, let me explain.

Sick child.

That's it. Been messing with Cam since Thursday evening, but didn't make the decision that I was waaay too tired to head out to a party at 7pm Saturday until 430pm Saturday. Yes, that's right, I was giving up hope until the last moment. Forget that I didn't get out to get a mani/pedi. But was that going to stop me? No way. I was going to put on some very un-Roman flat skimmers instead. And that was because I didn't get out to buy sandals like I wanted. Was I discouraged? Nope. I was going. I even reiterated that to MC Friday afternoon - promised to tell him all about it.

Seriously, I really am disappointed that I didn't go. My decision to go by myself had morphed into a societal statement on the status and freedom of single women. But forces were against me -- I guess I should have known when Cam's dad could not take him for the night. Usually, he's v good at taking him when it's not his weekend. However, he was scheduled to be out of town. And, single parents know that arranging and finding folk to take care of temperamental, sick toddlers is no easy feat. I was/am ready to get away from the continuous loop of Thomas the Tank Engine house arrest I've been under since Friday night. Oh well. What also haunts me is that if I had a date, I would have had to cancel and throw a wrench in all their costume travails. Then how silly would I feel? Guess all's well that ends well, right?

But, this is the compromise for you DRs. Since I've cancelled everything, including picking up the Dadster for the usual every other Sunday lunch, due to sicky Cam, I'm having GF Tracy come over and take my picture in the outfit I was planning to wear (wig included). I don't know if I can muster up make up, but I hope I will be able to scare up a reasonable facsimile of what I planned on looking like last night. I will post the pic as a separate post later tonight. And I'll take one of Cam in his diaper, looking like Mowgli without a tan. It's not a play by play of how fione I looked and how all the men slavishly fell at my feet, but hey, it's something!