12.26.2007

Subtlety Is Not Our Strong Suit


"She didn't look like anyone else in the bar - that's why I approached her."

And with that, I knew the picture he was about to show me was of a woman of color. I guessing she would at least be Asian and possibly, just possibly, she might be black. At that moment, I knew he was telling me that he was open to dating a woman of any race. He didn't need to explain further. I doubt he would have explained his attraction to his girlfriend this way if he were telling a white woman. It's a subtle code; one we cross race daters know and use when we don't know if our company is as open as we are. When we aren't sure, but feeling a bit intimate, we ask straight out - do you date "x"?

I know there are other ways WM let us know that they are open to dating ethnic women. Now, I'm not talking about Japanese, Chinese or Korean women - I mean dark skinned, wide nosed babes. And one of those ways is telling us about the pseudo-ethnic women they have dated (the Japanese, Chinese and Korean ones I was talking about earlier). The hints are good and I actually like when they volunteer the information. That makes my investigation work not as hard.
Then, it's just a matter of picking around the edges - what kind of music does he like? If it's country, forget it; he's probably not ever going to be into you. If he lets on that he likes hip hop or better yet, jazz or world music, then you know that he just might really be into you! Simple small talk should get to the heart of the matter and then you know if you can slip him a knowing look, a blink of an eye or a lick of the lips.
Perhaps magic might ensue. Or maybe just hot sex.
But hey, that can be magic too, right?

2 comments:

Falone said...

Hints are very good. My boyfriend loves reggae music... the only stuff he listens to... it seemed like a pretty strong hint to me! OMG, that picture of Michael Vartan and Nia Long... what time is that show again???

Ndelible said...

Falone --

I'm not sure. It used to be on Thursdays at 10pm, but ABC pre-empted it a few times and moved it, I think. I'm gonna write them and advise that they schedule any unaired episodes to try to build back the audience.