12.28.2007

Let the Man Carry Your Damn Stuff!!!

I have already admitted that I am a lousy flirt.

Now I must confess that I am also slow on the uptake; very slow. I was confusing to the two. I can flirt when I am fast on the uptake. However, in my dealings with Mr. Casablanca (as I will call the objection of my intention from here on in), I can flirt and actually have flirted as he has done with me. The problem has been that we never seem to be doing it at the same time. Nope, when he says something leading, in his oh so cute way, it seems to go right over my head. Same is true when I get up the gumption to slide in a glib and sexy remark, he seems to be on another plain. In both our defenses, I think we're immensely shy around each other and pretty soon his co-workers are going to start yelling, "if you don't ask her out; I'll ask her out for you!" Kinda like mine are, except they don't believe in women asking men out.

For instance, today, I was carrying a box. He and crew were sitting in the courtyard, having lunch. As I approached, Mr. Casablanca got up and asked if I needed help. Me, thinking about the weight of the box and that I only had to carry it a bit further, politely declined. Geesh. Dang, Ndel! Let the man carry your stuff!!! What is wrong with you?

The funny part is the other day, we were talking as I was carrying a box -- he didn't ask to carry it for me. I puzzled over that. I thought, "why the heck didn't he ask to carry this for me?" And then -- he does exactly what I wanted him to do two days ago and I decline. Do you understand me, I declined to let him help me. Am I insane?

See, if I had my wits about me, I would have said, "yes, please," and walked with him - alone - to the building. We could have said something profound. We could have had a moment.

What I did get, was a bit of small talk and found out that he likes spas! I said spas! It just gets better and better with this man. Oh, do I love spas. And I dream of being with a man who loves them too and wants to indulge in some of those couple's massages, baths and wraps. I mean, all of those former football muscles needing my kneading. Yum. Can you say relaxing, amazing sex afterwards? I can!

The bad part is that he's going to Miami for New Year's (oh, those South Beach babes) and I am on vacation for the rest of next week. It is unthinkable for me to not see him for so long. I have no doubt that I will drive every buddy crazy talking about him. Beware! You have now been forewarned.

Speaking of wariness, what about younger men? In theory, I'm for whoever floats your boat, but it is a real question for women. Men can carry on sexually well into their 70s (I think - especially with Viagra and all), but women... Well, I don't know. I guess I'll let you know in thirty years.

But back to the issue - when is a man too young for a woman of a certain age - my age - 39? I mean, I actually don't know how old Mr. Casablanca is. I guess he's about 32-33. I don't find anything weird about that; I'm quite comfortable with it. However, what if he were 23? Now, I know he's not that young; he couldn't have done all the things he has done and be that young, but humor me a little and just imagine he is. Would he be completely inappropriate for me to pursue? What about 27? That's twelve years younger than me... I guess my question is, is any man under 30 fair game? Could, should, would I date a man that young? I don't know. I imagine that someone like Mr. Casablanca couldn't be the man that I'm attracted to if he were much younger than 30, but still, I think I could come across a truly together man under the age of 30.

Quite frankly, it seems of late, I've met a couple of men who under different circumstances, I would most certainly say yes to a date if asked. Okay, let me first say that all of these "stand up dudes", I met through work situations. And normally, I don't do work colleagues (with the exception of Mr. Casablanca - he's a slightly different category). And advise anyone who will listen to steer clear of such entanglements. But, these guys, I think, are great and any woman would be lucky to snag them. One is a direct coworker, so, unless and until we aren't in such close professional proximity, we're just buds who get to make fun of each other's dating fiascoes. The other is young, oh so young and otherwise taken. But, if I had the chance to be The Gal, I would take it.

I won't even bother to tell you about the gay coworker with sex appeal to burn.

Oy vey.

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