11.22.2007

The Urge to Merge

What is it about plain, mousy, smart women who suck any available man's attention out of the room? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm smart, but I'm not mousy. I'm cute, not plain. I know where I have the deficit is the weight thing. Gosh, but plenty of men like voluptuous women, especially if said voluptuous woman is smart and cute, right?

We're all used to the stunning beauty who sucks all the manttention out of the room; we hang around hoping that said men will notice she's vapid and vain and can't tell the difference between the Sunnis and Shites. (I'll leave out the gorgeous and smart gal pal that you're always happy to see meet a great guy - but then again, she's rarely single precisely because men snap her up immediately - she spends little time on the open market - better yet for your odds.) But I am continually perplexed by the chick who manages to monopolize any single man's attention within striking distance. I've known - actually worked with two women like this. I simply don't get it. I was always disarmed by their ability to zero in on and then hold a man's attention. It's not that I am jealous - exactly.

No, I'm not jealous; I'm confused. I can't be jealous because the spell never seems to last - a week or two at most, but still, why are these men attracted in the first place? Why do they gravitate to these women to the exclusion of other, shall we say, more interesting and attractive women in the room?

Like yours truly?

I'm not tooting my own horn - okay, yes I am.

I won't say these women, including my acquaintances are not good women. They are. At least, I think they can be, if they lose what I sense is desperation seeping from their pores. If I can see it, feel it and taste it, why can't men? Are men attracted to desperation? I thought that's the one thing that men run from. Is it a matter of being drawn to the fire only to recoil once touched? Is it the protector instinct coming out? Or is it being drawn to the wounded bird? Now, I can't really say that the men that are catches or anything - maybe they're the ones who are wounded and desperate, but heck, I can't know everything...

Can I?

I want to merge. I have the urge. But desperation just isn't my bag.

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