- Little annoying MP3 thingee gets on Air Force One and successfully hacks into mainframe (totally proves Homeland Security is a joke);
- Slightly geeky, but very cute teenage boy tries to raise money for his first car by selling items on eBay that belonged to his great-grandfather, who made some mysterious discovery in the North Pole (a naturally cold place…) and eventually went crazy;
- Boy gets car, even though he doesn't sell aforesaid mentioned items on eBay; car turns out to have strange powers, luckily for our boy, they are powers that protect rather than destroy him;
- Government tries to mobilize against expected onslaught – world is without communications (Net, phone, TV). All that is left is shortwave radio – brush up on your Morse Code skills people;
- Geeky guys plus gorgeous chick bring in slacker to help identify code and virus in the Def Dept mainframe shutting down world wide communications;
- Oh, BTW, both the Autobots and the Decepticons get all kinds of information from the Net, be careful what you put on it;
- The Gov't brings together the Marine survivors, the cyber geeks, and boy hero + girlfriend to view Megatron. Why, I don't know. Guess it's kind of like the moment in every action flick when the villain explains the why, how and next just in time for the hero to foil the insidious plot;
- The heroes take the v important cube to a city with lots of people and a great battle ensues, lots of bots get hurt or killed (yes, they can die, which is why, at that point, I was still worried about My Wheels), oh and I guess some humans die too;
- Boy hero saves the day by implanting the cube in Megatron instead of Optimus Prime as instructed;
- The Decepticons are killed (or were they?) and dropped down some ocean seven miles under water; we're told that the sub-freezing temperatures and pressure will keep the Decepticons at bay (yeah, right);
- The Autobots decide to stay on earth; guess My Wheels figures he better meet me, right? And watch over us poor, stupid, warlike, but kinda nice humans, just in case bad guys darken our earthstep again.
And he's tall, ya know I like the tall ones.
See the damned movie yourself! But remember, Optimus Prime is all mine.